a letter from elena -- pksmusic

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Date Posted: 15:09:44 10/25/02 Fri
Author: pks
Subject: a letter from elena

dear everyone,

elena wrote us a very delicate letter. we've asked her permission to re-post it on the forum... thanks elena.

pks

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As one of the "elder generation" who knows kubert as "life exhibition" back in the 80's "melancholy city" & "geisha" have always been very special as they touch a very sentimental part deep inside.

It must be mere fate & coincident that I've found kubert's recent work for candy. It was great, obviously much more mature sophisticated and it aroused a desire for more. Still, I could never dare to dream about a new cd..? so it was simply indescribably overwhelming when I got it.

"the boy who loves flowers" has grown to a man. It has been more than a decade with even the turn of the century. We must all have grown & changed somehow. Sometimes, I would wonder if I was I anymore?. but then, may be the essence still remains, just being pushed & hidden to a safer place from the world. as I listen to the new kubert, I also wonder if the same is truth? evolved through the years but the essence still remains.

Earlier in the year, my best friend & I were just talking about the things to do before we die, such as reading "remembrance of things past". now I've found it quite inexcusable of us to always postpone things, to believe that there is always tomorrow, knowing so personally from all our painful past that we just can never know.

dreams
We may have come to the point that we no longer talk about dreams.
Guess there are times & things that are better kept unspoken, like feelings that can't be fully expressed through words?but music has always been there, as the best tool of communications & expressions, at least for some.

memoir
Raindrops may let you feel like/understand poetry. but it's music that flows & feels like raindrops to me.
Life, like a lot of other things, can be pretty much like a coin with two sides, two extremes. Black vs white, dark vs light, cold vs hot. I suppose we are given our choices here, just that we may not always want to see things clear. after all, those who are close at hearts may not have the chance to be together while being together doesn't necessarily guarantee understandings.

gone
Isn't this the boy we used to know, "the boy who loves flowers", who once enjoyed the "beauty of melancholy" Just that this time, with the cruel passage of time, something has come & gone.
In certain points of life, we must have simply let ourselves drown in our memories, our own, psychological time. & As the physical time passes, our memories and fantasies may simply get so tangled that they are indistinguishable. Eventually, we don't even know if we are really still in love with that person or simply with the idea of being in love, the feelings of being in love & miserable?then comes the day when it no longer matters.

falling flowers
Sounds thrillingly & painfully familiar. but didn't we all at least once tried to let go and not care?. somewhere, sometimes, wish that we wouldn't feel & wouldn't get hurt anymore. but then life goes on one way or the other.

that year on the street
That very old image of a couple in long black coats running, fleeing. Like a phoenix rising up from fire, the greatest passion, truest desire, purest love stem from chaos?& isn't that the ultimate romance that we've always dreamt?
Once again, time has past, we have grown. May be the essence is still here but now the feelings go deeper, may be it's the realization that we don't usually see what is most precious at that moment but then the memories can live a life time.
There is no ever after but what remains in the hearts.

life as a dream
Going around in circles. here & there, lost & wonder where is home?. is it me or the tragedy of our lost generation. only when I'm far away again then I've finally realized where I belong.
Yes, life is indeed a dream. I wish you a good one.

Thanks for these beautiful raindrops. sometimes, they feel like tears of emotions. sentimental & even painful at times. but I guess it's still good to know that something hasn't really changed nor gone. may be we are not really that alone in our loneliness.

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