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[ Post a Reply to This Message ] All gone quiet -- Shhh, 17:47:53 08/20/02 Tue You may be wondering why Viper Chat has gone so quiet recently. Sadly some corporates are no fun anymore and wont allow people - via special software - to visit Chat sites from work. Apparently it is not considered work.
[ Post a Reply to This Message ] Viperette needed for Players Wives Dinner Dance -- Tweedie, 14:01:31 04/22/02 Mon Can I bring a boy to the glittering players wives dinner dance on the 24th?
[ Post a Reply to This Message ] Hong Kong Tour? -- Viperette Shez, 04:11:20 01/12/02 Sat Hello Vipers...hoping that you are having a good season and not missing my cheering too much! Just wanted to let you know that i have sourced a couple of good footie teams who would be keen to play and host you in HK. Not sure whether the Vipers would come this far but it would be a killer of a few days. Hk is not that far all. Gaffer get in touch if you want e-mail addresses.....happy new year and good luck...love Shezxxx
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[ Post a Reply to This Message ] Ouch... -- Olly, 15:04:10 11/12/01 Mon Ouch... Losing to any side hurts, but to lose to Buchanan's select? Nuff gloating - really enjoyed the game - that pitch is amazing, if a little fast. Look forward to reading the match report...
[ Post a Reply to This Message ] Viperettes -- Seedy, 14:18:52 11/07/01 Wed Calling all Viperettes. Come to the world famous Paddington Recreation Ground to suppport your favourite football team. GASP at Matty Lloyd's legs ROAR with delight as Tractor scores a hat trick SCREAM in pleasure at our powerful shots and forward thrusts Come on down girls, the price is right. 2 pm kick off against new opponents Alex Buchanan's Scratch The Paddington Recreation Ground is found just of Grantully Rd in posh North London Maida Vale
[ Post a Reply to This Message ] Vipers Lineup for 11 Nov -- Seedy, 14:09:10 11/07/01 Wed Vipers XI Vs Alex Buchanan's Scratch Sanderson Cadbury Tweedie Tremayne Machin Hanson Steel Wilkins Dauman Ginola Lloyd Subs: A 2pm kick off at new venue, the Paddington Recreation Ground. For directions please look at Grantully Rd on Streetmap.co.uk If anyone cannot do this please tell me ASAP on 0207 638 8472, 07884 232 514.
[ Post a Reply to This Message ] JOIN NOW -- HURRY UP, 09:01:20 08/07/01 Tue Fancy your skills as a Manager. You have been invited to join the Vipers Private Fantasy Football League. It is free to enter and they do all the work for you. In order to join the group, just go to http://soccer.fantasysports.yahoo.com/premier , If you haven't already - Register for Yahoo They will send you a confirmation with further details once you have completed the registration process. Then create a team and choose to Join a Private Group. When prompted, enter the following information... Group ID#: 3418 Password: vipersfc Feel free to invite any interested punters to join. Prizes for winners.
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[ Post a Reply to This Message ] The Joker -- He can make funny speeches at your wedding, 21st etc, 17:15:43 10/04/01 Thu I've just heard that nobody in Afganistan is allowed to watch TV - apparently there's a telly-ban!
[ Post a Reply to This Message ] IP v Vipers (The real match report) -- I. P, 15:12:59 10/03/01 Wed A mercurial free kick from Baker gave Inter all three points in the first match of the season. Having been 2-0 down after 20 minutes, the first an unfortunate own goal, the second a rather fortunate strike that appeared to come off the goalscorer's shin and happened to catch Harrap off his line. Inter's recovery started 10 minutes before half time when the industrious Freeland, attempted to lob the Viper keeper, all he could do was parry it, leaving Gordon with a tap in. The second half began with Ed Steel entering the fray and his verbal gesticulations caused the game to become a little more heated and contentious than the first half, but it wasn't long before Harry hoffen was put clear and as per usual the finish, a little dink over the keeper, was sublime. Vipers had little to offer apart from a few long balls that were bread and butter for the defence of Carter, Cowan Sinclair and Reece, Reece making his debut was a tower of strength at the back and was more Marcel Desailly than Carlton Palmer! The game could easily have been put out of the Viper's range prior to Baker's strike, the most notable being Rupert Hoffen's conversion over an open goal from 4 yards out. The freekick that led to the winner was as a result of a weaving run from Tremayne, the only way the Vipers could halt his progress was by picking the ball up. A wall was set, the ball was placed, all that was left was for Baker to wave his wand and slot it into the top right hand. Game over. "Like Man Utd, Inter were outplayed in the first half, but like an experienced boxer they let the Vipers punch themselves out, manoeuvred off the ropes and picked off their opponents at their leisure"
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[ Post a Reply to This Message ] Some people are sick -- Sickboy, 14:21:13 10/02/01 Tue Interesting Photo but it is a hoax. 
[ Post a Reply to This Message ] BARBARIANS V AUSTRALIA -- 28 November, 08:42:34 10/02/01 Tue BARBARIANS V AUSTRALIA (Rugby) 28 November - Millennium Stadium (Cardiff) - 10.00-30.00 http://www.ticketmaster.co.uk/ta/ta.asp?id=1243
[ Post a Reply to This Message ] The Viperettes are back on the scene! -- Shez, 08:21:01 09/28/01 Fri Hey boys I trust you have had a restful summer and ready to kick in for the season ahead. Shezza was most upset to hear that you had your first match recently and she was not present. Don't worry she'll be on the side lines, with her massage oils, for the match on sunday. She is looking particulary beautiful and sexy at the mo and asks politely that the Vipers don't all pounce on her at once. Good Luck my mighty warriers xxx
[ Post a Reply to This Message ] The Viperettes are back on the scene! -- Shez, 08:19:08 09/28/01 Fri Hey boys I trust you have had a restful summer and ready to kick in for the season ahead. Shezza was most upset to hear that you had your first match recently and she was not present. Don't worry she'll be on the side lines, with her massage oils, for the match on sunday. She is looking particulary beautiful and sexy at the mo and asks politely that the Vipers don't all pounce on her at one. Good Luck my mighty warriers xxx
[ Post a Reply to This Message ] No more cheatin' -- The Ref, 12:40:26 09/24/01 Mon THE RULES OF THE GAME
[ Post a Reply to This Message ] SPOT THE GAFFER -- Taken at Anfield (1999), 11:22:58 09/17/01 Mon Spot the Gaffer 
[ Post a Reply to This Message ] Good Porn Titles -- Ya Sven, 13:33:11 09/06/01 Thu Porn movie titles: Porn on the Fourth of July How Stella Got her Tube Packed Men In Back Poke-A-Hot-Ass Operation Condom Position: Impossible Cliffbanger The Hand That Robs The Cradle As Big As It Gets I Know Who You Did Last Summer Ass Wide Shut Pulp Friction Pretty and Twink Shaving Private Ryan Children Of The Porn Forrest Hump Malcolm XXX Six Degrees of Penetration Muffy The Vampire Layer The bare witch project Shaving Ryans' Privates Frankenpenis Glad-He-Ate-Her Touched By An Anal Romancing The Bone Titanic (no,really) The Sperminator Bangin' in the Rain Sperms of Endearment Long Dong Silver King Dong Riding Miss Daisy Touched By An Uncle Bi Golly Passenger 69 Big Momma's Hose Free My Willy (with Michael Jackson on the soundtrack, performing Don't Let Your Son Go Down On Me) Dawson's Crack Saturday Night Beaver Sleeping With The Enema Good Will Humping Crocodile Done Me (actually seen in a Simpsons episode) For Your Thighs Only Three Men And A Babe Intercourse With The Vampire Jurassic Pork Sleeping Booty The Loin King You've Got Male White Men Can't Hump What About Boob? Schindler's Fist The Joy Suck Club Inspect Her Gadget Blast In The Ass My Big Lebowski The Hunt For Miss October Ed's Wood ET The Extra Testicle Poke-Me-Mon A Jug's Life The Brady Munch Pornocchio
[ Post a Reply to This Message ] Let's make friend -- Rebecca, 13:35:01 08/20/01 Mon Hi, Found this free website recently, If you wanna know more about me, click the following to register: http://www.friendplay.com/go/ref.cgi?vid=rebeccabax You can also view my photo here, http://www.friendplay.com/cgi-bin/fp/myfriendplay.cgi?ac=profile&username=rebeccabax Hope to see you there.
[ Post a Reply to This Message ] Photos - Free prints. -- Gaffer/ Ofoto, 13:18:14 08/13/01 Mon Online Photos have moved. To view the album, click here. You may be asked to sign in or become an Ofoto member. It's easy to join, and your first 15 prints are FREE! As an Ofoto member, you can order prints of the photos that have been shared with you, plus frames, cards and more. Try us out! to
[ Post a Reply to This Message ] He can hang -- Wizard, 13:02:15 08/08/01 Wed Did you know that the Gaffer was a bit of a dude when it came to skateboarding. If you don't believe me read this article from a skateboarding magazine . Read the 2nd half of the article and look at the lists of the best tricksters.
[ Post a Reply to This Message ] Hewitt -- NewYorkSocialDiary.com, 08:00:48 07/16/01 Mon  Albino makes it into the NewYorkSocialDiary.com
[ Post a Reply to This Message ] Memorabel moment from Saturday night -- Hooray For Swan, 09:39:28 07/10/01 Tue Some punter staggered over to the bar in Purple and vommed on Harry Swan's leg (he was wearing that disgusting Purple blazer).
[ Post a Reply to This Message ] Tortoise -- Joke, 13:42:17 06/26/01 Tue Man meets another man giving a woman a piggy back down the street. He asks them where they are going. "To a fancy-dress party. I'm a tortoise" "So what's that woman doing on your back?" "That's Michelle".
[ Post a Reply to This Message ] For Good Lads only -- Jumpers for goalposts, 08:26:39 06/19/01 Tue SUMMER FOOTIE 7.30pm every Tuesday in South Park (North side of the tennis courts). For Map click here
[ Post a Reply to This Message ] Announcement -- VFC, 15:24:56 06/15/01 Fri  Vipers FC would like to congratualte Esmond Seedy on being voted 2000-2001 Player of the Year.
[ Post a Reply to This Message ] Woof Woof -- Grr, 15:26:55 06/07/01 Thu More Puppies arrive for the Dinner 
[ Post a Reply to This Message ] Postcard from Germany -- Steelo, 10:17:51 06/07/01 Thu When Liverpool went up, To lift the UEFA cup, I was there... 
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[ Post a Reply to This Message ] Barber runs for Election in Battersea -- BBC, 11:05:52 06/06/01 Wed Live in Battersea: DON'T TRUST LABOUR? WON'T VOTE TORY? HATE PINEAPPLE ON PIZZA? LOATHE RAISINS IN SALAD? THEN VOTE FOR THOMAS BARBER (INDEPENDENT) Standing in Battersea on behalf of the NO FRUIT OUT OF CONTEXT PARTY (ps: we'll make the weather better, too) There are only 4 people standing in Battersea. The three major parties and me, so if you want to register a protest, you only have one option. Well, other than not voting at all, which is naughty. VOTE BARBER, VOTE TASTE To view results click here
[ Post a Reply to This Message ] MJ Shines -- Extract from Sunday Times (3/6/01), 12:49:51 06/05/01 Tue THERE was a time, on Friday afternoon, when the few hardy souls at the Rose Bowl shuffled forward on their bucket seats and braced themselves for a moment of rare excitement. Robin Martin-Jenkins had taken his third wicket in the space of 15 balls, Hampshire were still 38 runs away from avoiding the follow-on with two wickets remaining, and Shaun Udal was readying himself to face the hat-trick ball. In came the bowler, back came the ball from a comfortable defensive stroke from the batsman, and normal service was resumed with a ninth-wicket partnership between Udal and Alex Morris ... Martin-Jenkins, 25, is a unique breed in county cricket. It is not uncommon for sons of famous cricketers to struggle in their father's shadow. Martin-Jenkins, son of Christopher, the chief cricket correspondent of The Times and BBC Test Match Special commentator, bears a name that is as recognisable today as that of Ben Hutton or Nick Compton. Only now, in his sixth season with Sussex, is he starting to find consistency. A championship average of 55 with the bat - boosted, admittedly, by two not outs - and 12 wickets at 27, are reward for consistency. In this match, he ended Sussex's innings with a responsible 56 not out and had by some margin the best figures with the ball, four for 77. Why the consistency? "It's difficult to pinpoint why," he said. "I had a winter in Cape Town playing club cricket. I didn't score a huge amount of runs there, but somehow batting throughout the year seems to help your mental game. "I've also been working on recognising what are my strengths and cutting out my weaknesses, trying to get the bowlers to bowl in my area, not following the wide ball. I guess it comes down to maturity." Facially, RMJ owes much to his father and he has shown more than a passing interest in journalism, writing a column for the Brighton Argus. One early entry had him in hot water when he claimed that a group of monkeys could do a better job at running cricket than the ECB. What was dad's reaction? "He said it probably wasn't the wisest thing to do." Still, it got people talking. And if he ends the season as he has begun it, people will be talking about CMJ's boy for very different reasons.
[ Post a Reply to This Message ] Vipers.tv -- Des Lynam, 15:34:02 05/31/01 Thu Missing the football season already ? Watch some goals from last season (incl UEFA final) on: THE GOAL SITE (CLICK HERE)
[ Post a Reply to This Message ] VOTE NOW -- Gaffer, 20:14:49 05/20/01 Sun End of Season Survey
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[ Post a Reply to This Message ] Mr Poz -- The College of St Hild & St Bede, 17:27:03 05/14/01 Mon Emma Porrit met him in Durham. They fell in love and are now happily married. Meet him now.
[ Post a Reply to This Message ] Result -- James Alexander Gordon, 13:21:02 05/01/01 Tue Result from Battersea (30-4-01) Inter Punani 7 Real Bollox 2 RB: (4-4-2) Van Cutsen - Henson, Duberly, Armitage, Wilson - McNeile, Lowther, Steel (V), Hickman - Bonsor, Payne IP: Harrap - Tremayne (M), Cowen, X, Y - Harper, Skinner, Deedes, Montgomery - Hoffman (Harry), Richard * Bollox were in the game at 2-1 midway through the first half.
[ Post a Reply to This Message ] Scores on the doors -- James Alexander Gordon, 11:34:23 04/24/01 Tue Result: Inter Punani (M. Tremayne XI) 8 De Feet (H.Moss XI) 1
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[ Post a Reply to This Message ] Good Luck Boys. -- PA, 18:17:11 03/22/01 Thu Come on you 
[ Post a Reply to This Message ] Re: Good Luck Boys. -- Yeah Yeah -, 11:02:59 03/23/01 Fri DO NOT FORGET THAT THE CLOCKS GO ON SUNDAY
[ Post a Reply to This Message ] sing up -- viperettes unite, 15:30:03 03/22/01 Thu when i was just a lass, i asked my mother who should i see, should it be vipers, should it be feet, here's what she said to me: "you filthy little whore, giving it up galore, you don't deserve any more, you're a viper's score."
[ Post a Reply to This Message ] Joke -- Gazza, 12:27:15 03/22/01 Thu The Japanese have banned all animal movements after discovering some nibbled beds in Tokyo. It has been described as "a suspected outbreak of Futon Mouse".
[ Post a Reply to This Message ] De Feet Scare -- Reuters, 08:52:03 03/05/01 Mon DE FEET PLAYER SURVIVES ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT Police have warned of further attacks in the coming weeks after linking the bomb outside the BBC's main news base in London to dissident Viperetes. Deputy Assistant Commissioner Alan Fry, head of Scotland Yard's Anti-Hooligan Branch, said the bomb was an attempt to assassinate Arthurs Feet keeper Jim - The Panther - De Zoete after the player vowed to face the Vipers on March 25th. De Zoete, 25, has played for both clubs in recent times and some Viperetes, who were clearly hoping he would lend his allegiance to the Vipers, decided to take the law into their own hands by planting between 10 and 20 pounds of high explosive exploded in a red taxi (reg D902 GYH) outside the BBC Television Centre where De Zoete works. Police have warned of a retaliation by fans of De Feet and have put the offices of BT, a company closely linked with the Vipers, on 'high alert'. The Vipers management were said to be shocked by the incident and did their best to distance the club from these extremists. They also added that they would 'review their security measures' in time for the forthcoming match.
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[ Post a Reply to This Message ] Where to drink after a match -- This is London, 11:42:04 03/09/01 Fri Where Footballers Drink - a list of their favourite London Hang Outs by Tom Barber (Straggler Scum).
[ Post a Reply to This Message ] Grass Snakes-i mean vipers -- Tim Hodgson, 16:00:06 03/09/01 Fri Come on Grass snakes....who wants it?
[ Post a Reply to This Message ] No Surrender -- 007, 10:09:04 03/08/01 Thu You might remember me. I scored from the half way line once to get you muppets out of jail and didn't even win the goal of season contest! i played against you a year later and scored. the match was memorable for Henderson kicking it off during the match. You cheated and played 10mins added on and our goalkeeper (married to a viperette) deliberately conceeded a goal. well you should recognise me on sunday-i'll be the one scoring the goals. lots of love kiddies.
[ Post a Reply to This Message ] Steelo's Site -- Icons.com, 16:51:17 02/20/01 Tue Ed Steel couldn't be happier at the moment as he told fans on his personal website. Click here to see Ed's Personal website
[ Post a Reply to This Message ] Valentines Message to the Paris Viperetes -- ???, 11:45:30 02/14/01 Wed Fogie: Roses are awful Violets are the pits Lift up your shirt And show us your tits Sherrard: Roses make me laugh Violets make me titter You're a dirty bitch And you love it up the shitter Jess: Roses are red but I like carnations you're so crap in bed that I fucked your alsatian Bickers: Roses are crap Violets are shit Sit on my face And wiggle a bit
[ Post a Reply to This Message ] The 100 best goals of all time -- John Motson, 09:23:46 02/08/01 Thu The 100 best goals of all time on the web: http://www.footofgod.com/alltime/goals100s.asp You will need a high speed connection and the ability to view MPEG files (most computers can). - Somehow they left Bigboot Swans screamer vs SS Southside off the list.
[ Post a Reply to This Message ] TWEEDIE IN BRIBE SCANDAL -- Sports.com, 15:17:12 02/02/01 Fri CLICK HERE TO SEE EXCLUSIVE PICTURES REVEALED: TWEEDIE IN BRIBE SCANDAL THE football world reacted with shock today when it appeared that Vipers player Esmond Tweedie was photographed bribing French officials. It has been suggested that Tweedie paid Ff3,000-5,000 to the referee to ensure a Viper victory sending shockwaves so great that Esmond himself could have surfed down the Seine on them Earlier in the week, upon hearing that he was photographed by undercover reporters, Tweedie was reduced to a depressed wreck, curled up in the foetal position on his hotel bed after sleepless nights, and balefully moaning that he has ruined his life. Although the photographs weren't conclusive after several tortuous hours, early this morning, the weight of his guilt finally tipped the balance and Tweedie decided to come clean. He sent a nine-page fax to Sven, the team manager, detailing his emotional grief and version of events. "He couldn't handle it any more," Sven told a pack of press "He broke down." Sven had already accused him of letting down the club, the fans and whole country. Some 100-odd Viperetes have already rung in asking for a refund for their trip to Paris with one asking if the game was one of football or WWF. There were also few banners of protest outside the Vipers Battersea training ground this morning showing the headline: "England's Shame." In a futher twist, Harry Swan has denied the suggestions of the French police that he blew the whistle on Tweedie saying that it was the photos that forced Esmond to come clean. He did, however, add he was considering his future. "The fun's gone out of the game," said Swan when asked later the reason for his mood. "What's the point any more?" CLICK HERE TO SEE EXCLUSIVE PICTURES
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[ Post a Reply to This Message ] Famous Victory! -- Alice, 19:06:15 02/01/01 Thu Congratulations! Gutted to miss the big match in Paris but since I moved out here to manage the VFC International Fan Club office in New York things have been a little crazy and I haven't been able to make full use of the season ticket. It's all going well though and I have to tell you that sales of replica kit in the USA are up 300% for the season. There was also a noticeable rise in activity following the European victory which was televised out here on Fox Sports World. The one-off Euro away kit shirt has been flying off the racks and I'm sure that the Giants' disappointing showing in the Superbowl has contributed to a rise in the number of affluent New Yorkers cruising Manhattan proudly displaying names like Tweedie, Steel, Swan and Ginola on their backs. I've also heard encouraging reports from Porritt in the Canadian headquarters (Toronto) so it looks like we'll be presenting some impressive results from the North American sector at the next AGM. Much love to you all from NYC and if any of you are thinking of taking the wife or girlfriend on a relaxing weekend shopping trip in the Big Apple let me know. Come on you Vipers! Alice
[ Post a Reply to This Message ] Filthy Tweedie. -- poets@dailymirror.com, 13:41:44 12/15/00 Fri There was a little boy called Tweedie Whose past times were more than a little seedie He loved his porn But was generally furlorn Because his manhood was more than a little weedie.
[ Post a Reply to This Message ] TWEEDIES TWISTED PAST -- News of the World, 13:13:57 11/01/00 Wed   Tweedie Admits Gay Past. EXCLUSIVE Vipers Megastar Esmond Tweedie broke down in front of reporters yesterday when he spoke of his past life as a closet homosexual. Tweddie, 24, has been under growing pressure this week to come clean about experiences as a student at Durham University when it emerged that photos of Tweddie in a compromising position had fallen into the hands of News of the World reporters. According to our sources Tweedie had several relationships with men before returning to the straight and narrow. He told close friends that this was a period of experimentation that is firmly behind him. Most of his university contemporaries had no idea about Tweedie's double life. He was an exceptional sportsman there who chose football ahead of rugby because he was too FORWARD WITH HIS PASSES. As a footballer he proved a formidable wing back who loved PENETRATING THE DEFENCE and when he left he was quickly spotted by the Vipers. The Vipers Chairman, The Big Choc Man, told us that he gave Tweedie his full backing, "Since the days of Justin Fashanu football has moved on and we now live in an open and more tolerant world". One villager from his home town in Scotland told us that Tweedie had a troubled childhood where as a little boy he ran away from home several times because he didn't like the way he was being REARED. He thought that by coming to London he could put his troubled past behind him and settle down with current girlfriend Alex. When the News of the World phoned Tweedie to ask him about the allegations he told us, "Queers, you have just turned my life upside down."
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[ Post a Reply to This Message ] ET -- Sunday Sport, 17:02:49 11/01/00 Wed Tweedie was no where to be seen today as reporters camped outside his plush mock Tudor residence in Shephard's Bush. There were rumours that he had quickly moved to a safe house thought to be in Chelsea whilst others reported seeing him buy an air ticket to New York. Tweedie's father told us, " I am BENT OVER with embarrasment."
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