another cool legal threat -- Unlikely Stories

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Date Posted: 13:48:10 11/13/03 Thu
Author: jp
Subject: another cool legal threat

From Ryan Blackmer (objecting to the poem Rimming Ryan Blackmer's Asshole, which has been renamed by the author to Rimming Ryan Benning's Asshole):

APPROXIMATELY 1 YEAR AWAY FROM BECOMING AN ACTUAL LAWYER MYSELF, I HAVE CONSULTED WITH LICENSED LAWYERS AND DISCUSSED THIS SITUATION.

I demand that you go to the greatest extent possible to cease to use, publish, or distribute any previous public uses of my name in relation to your poetry, retract any undistributed copies as well as any and all internet, online publications, and refrain from any such future publications and uses.

I do not intend to get anything else from you other than protection from your uses of my name and or descriptions. I would like to settle this matter without proceeding to court. I fully intend on exhaustively attempting to resolve this outside of the judicial system.

However, if you have not complied by Monday, November 17, I will be compelled to exercise my rights to the fullest extents of the law in legal action against you and any and all responsible publishers.

Please take this situation seriously.

---------------------------------------

Reply from Jonathan Penton:

Well, on the one hand, I've already done what Shane requested. Your name is no longer on my web page. You might need to refresh your browser.

However, I would LOVE to see you take this matter to court. I get free legal representation for Unlikely, and I would absolutely love the notoriety, as well as seeing your dickheaded ass get up in front of a judge and try to
convince him that Shane didn't rim your asshole.

Knock yourself out, milkcheese. I am more than ready. Sincerely hoping to hear from your lawyer soon. You can have your lawyer, whom I sincerely hope is not imaginary, send the suit to

Given that I receive lots of spurious lawsuit threats, and we both know how hopeless your case is, I'm not going to call my lawyer just yet. As you know, after I retain him, it will be necessary for you to handle all further
correspondence with me through him. I'm gleefully hoping that day comes to pass, and rest assured that I will read everything you so entertainingly say.

Please take the fact that I'm laughing at you seriously.

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Replies:

Re: another cool legal threat -- Amberlee, 15:01:02 12/05/03 Fri