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| Subject: True Stories - Part 1 | |
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Author: Brendans's Burd |
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Date Posted: 13:05:36 01/17/03 Fri I am the new Horsehead General secretary and I am pleased the players have installed me in this position, it is a great accolade for me and a position I will cherish and make my own. Obviously the fact that I am Brendan's burd had nothing to do with it, I am here on my own merit, so respect that or Ill cut your sacks off. First of all I would like to invite you all to me and the Goons engagement party on 01 February at the Barleycorn. We do not accept gifts but will accept personal cheques, chisels, hammers and crates of buckfast. Brendan has also made a special request that El Per could provide 5 trailers full of stones so he can build us a new house using the new chisels and hammers we get.SWEEEEEEEEET. He has also asked that any willing persons to provide him with some rocket sauce, he he ho ho snort snort chortle (mischevious grunts and groans) Now on to important business. Much has been made over the futures of certain Horsehead greats such as Paddywhacka and Nicholas Witchell. Nicholas has unfortunately had to give up due to modelling commitments with the David Beckham school of Posing, whereas McDronald is still considering his future with prospective transfers to the Duchess Nina Old Folks team, Quarter Bum Boys and FC Lotto.com. The latest casualty is Sir Wilbur Jackson who has had to quit the team due to his arranged marriage to Sabina Singh.William knew nothing of this until he was whisked away in a big chopper (something he's never seen before) to Pakistan by Mohammed Singh and told that an arrangement had been made when he was born between both families for him to marry Mohammeds daughter when was mature enough. (shes an ugly gnarled wee girl with boss eyes and funny coloured skin) Unfortunately they realised Wilbur would never reach the required level of maturity but that now was the time because he was at his most fertile, and he must make 15 chocolate babies before he runs out of rocket sauce. So it is with regret that these players futures are in doubt, hopefully Wullie will escape from Pakistan, but our thoughts are with him at this tough time and we fear for his safety as he is a racist ned and is to be treated with great care and respect. Seemingly Nicholas has been in talks with the Pakistan Embassy with a view to obtaining Wilbur's release, but due to the current tension there is little hope of this.Nicholas is now not getting his mullett cut for 3 months in order to save up the £1000 fare to go over and visit William in the WigWam he is being held in. So thats the Horsehead news of the moment. I have the last word cause im the secretart Goono I love you, you are my one true love and I want to have your little goonos, maybe we could call one Goono Mack or Horace or Jug A Lugs or Numpty or Speckle Eye or Tim or what about Leroy or Jake or Terence or Toadboal or Supoid or Noo Noo Brendans Burd Secretart of Horsehead United Foootball Establishment [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |
| Subject | Author | Date |
 Re: True Stories - Part 1 | McDonald | 14:28:43 01/17/03 Fri |