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| Subject: NEWSFLASH -El Per In RTA | |
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Author: El Per |
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Date Posted: 16:57:26 02/20/03 Thu At approximately 20.36 last night (19 February 2003), Horsehead Star Player, Idiot Boy and the playboy of the team, El Per was involved in a serious RTA (Road Traffic Accident) while coming back from Hairmyres General Hospital. While driving on the notorious EK to Hamilton backroad locally known as ‘The Racetrack’, El Per braked while approaching a wicked corner locally known as ‘Horace’s Hairpin’ (named after the little clasp Brendan uses to pin his lugs back) and skidded on black ice. Although he tried to control the skid, the icy road surface refused to comply and the car spun out of control, hit a grass embankment and the motor vehicle flipped onto its side, then onto its roof, just missing an oncoming car, trapping El Per in the crushed wreck. Despite being Australian (upside down) for about a minute, he managed to wriggle free from his seatbelt and turn the engine off. Despite being stuck in the crumpled wreck, he managed to kick the passenger door open (after retrieving valuables like his phone, his car keys, a can of lynx and a King Size Dairy Milk) and squeeze his portly body out and crawl from the twisted metal. To the amazement of the crowd of motoroists who rushed to assist and gawk (including 3 HOT off duty female policewomen,who would have got smelled) El Per had no injuries apart from when his mobile fell and whacked him on the knapper. The police were summoned as the traffic was brought to a standstill. In the aftermatch El Per was questioned by the local constabulary and released without caution. As he left the scene, the car lay belly up destined for the great car scrapyard of the sky as it was a total write-off. The local polis tried to imply that he possibly clipped the grass bank, but El Per stood firm and brought the PC Plod’s attention to the fact that on a night the temperature was –6, that the road was ungritted, so basically its that stupid f’@ck Tony Blair’s fault for not using El Per’s tax money to grit ‘The Racetrack.’ Amazingly despite his trauma and the ‘Rumble on the the Ractrack’ El Per had a late fitness test and has declared himself fit for the crunch league match against AEK Accies this evening. [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |
| Subject | Author | Date |
 Re: NEWSFLASH -El Per In RTA | Kev | 16:28:04 02/21/03 Fri |