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Date Posted: 14:46:53 05/17/01 Thu
Author: Rafaél
Subject: Re: Streams (adult?)
In reply to: s.p. wells 's message, "Streams (adult?)" on 17:59:34 05/14/01 Mon

Streams


I ride the stream
Oh, it’s so clean, (“Oh” stops me dead in my tracks)
as it goes so slow to last,
then quite fast.

Pulsating body flutters
flowings of water
splash over me, as a slide.
I ride on, as if riding
a leaping Dolphin.

While I laugh my scream
with a joy fusion
of low, moaning fashion
The trickles keep pumping,
swirling over my neck on down
towards breasts, grapefruit round
to drop off nipples long,
as a skier, off a long jump.

My legs meet the sea beat
with rhythmic flow of heat
from Dolphin’s body sway
inbetween the private ways. (this line explained below)
navigating heavy liquid,
coursing us, quick silver pro quid.

Like a Mermaid’s preening
under blue sky’s Sun beaming,
feeling water hydrating porous skin
twirling around, from side to side
basking in the glory of fin
at the end .. of my ride.

There is not a lot as you see, that I wanted to
discuss here, but due to the nature of the poem
I wanted to be relaxed and not rushed!
“Private” for me does not have the same texture
as the rest of the poem.
Yet through reading this, I feel as though I am
humbled, to have small insight into the feelings
you may have experienced while writing, so in
that respect, the communication is more than apt.
There is a line that one reaches in writing poetry
of this nature, in my opinion you have a little more
room to approach closer to that line without
crossing it.
All this said, it’s personal preference and those
rights always remain with the author.
There for me is a beautiful almost pure innocence
about this poem, which it would retain, if the
word choice for that line was carefully chosen.
For me this a great piece, which has subtlety and
charm, but the reader only gets out what they put
in by way of discovering this.

Thank you

Rafael

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