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Date Posted: 16:12:31 05/05/01 Sat
Author: Raphaela
Subject: Re: Destination 201 (daydreaming)
In reply to: Bono 's message, "Destination 201 (daydreaming)" on 20:23:38 05/04/01 Fri

Well I have to keep moving around my favourites of yours! I love this - I have read it many times and each time, read something fresh.

I love these lines:

"City sweet rain
rattles the perspex bus shelter"

makes you think about how the rain in the city can be sweet in view of the pollution - and then I see that you have made a point subtle (am I right here?)

Then another wonderful image that says so much more than the obvious - your use of adjectives here is really effective.

"dead petrol fumes mix with the puddles
creating vertical rainbows"

and with this phrase:

'rushes through me like a first orgasm, "y´know the bit where no one tells you the "sensation" comes from the toes and tingles your back like an electric fence in a "generous
storm"

you will be sure to have got everybody's atention. You address the reader and keep attention throughout the piece, whilst also cleverly making each and everyone of us remember ...

There are some many images and clever words - but this has got to be one of my faves of yours - could you mail me a copy please so I have it clean????

Thanks

Raphaela ;)

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