Time Stood Still -- The Chasm

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Date Posted: 23:44:49 07/01/01 Sun
Author: Shannon
Subject: Time Stood Still

What do you feel when you think about death? Have you ever come close to death? What did you think about in what you believed were your final moments? Did your "life flash before your eyes?" What did you fear most?

I went with my two sisters to a friend's house, one bright and breezy summer day. Our friend's house was right around the corner from where we lived. We had a whole group of people with us, getting money together for the beer for the party that night.

My younger sister's boyfriend, John, had just returned from NYC, bringing with him a newfound friend named Hector. Hector was Mexican. He seemed amiable enough; he laughed and cracked jokes with the rest of us. Chrissy, my younger sister, even cracked a joke on his name, and he seemed to take it okay. That's why, when I tried to joke with him, I was surprised when he turned on me. And all I said was "Hi, Hector."

Next thing I knew, I was being restrained by the neck. It was Hector, and at my throat, he held a shiny six-inch knife. The fine blade rested, feather light, against my skin.

I froze. Didn't make a move. My heart was pounding so hard, it felt like it was going to break through my ribcage.

Hector started talking to me. "See this?" I gave a barely perceptible nod. I didn't want to move too much, and cause him to cut me by accident.

"How does this feel?" He was smiling an easy smile. He sounded like he was teasing. He looked into my eyes; I could feel they were nearly popped out in fear. His were almond shaped, and a clear shade of warm chestnut brown. I stood paralyzed, looking into those liquid eyes.

When he spoke, Hector's voice was low and sibilant, but didn't sound unfriendly. "Do you want to die today?" I gave a slight shake of my head, never looking away from him.

He kept talking, and I half tuned out his voice. I started wondering why no one saw what was happening, why no one came to help me. There had to be at least seven people behind me, standing on the porch. Hector and I stood on the grass in the front yard, facing the street. No pedestrians, no traffic, no bicyclists, and the houses all had blank looks to their faces.

Yes, I was afraid I was going to die. But part of me didn't believe that Hector would cut my throat right on the street within five feet of my good friends and my family, in a town far tinier than where he had come from. Part of me thought he was really just trying to scare the shit out of me, and it was working. But there was a distinct possiblity that Hector would erase me, take my life and leave me bleeding on the grass beneath the warm sun.

But as I stood there, in a pocket of time that had come to a halt for me, I didn't see my life flash before my eyes. I saw the empty street and Hector's face, conscious of the blade held gently to my throat. And the thought of dying, of disappearing, of being suddenly gone, didn't bother me nearly as much as the fear of what that knife would feel like when it made that one slice. Would it hurt really bad? Would it be like a huge paper cut? Would I be dead before I felt anything?

As you can see, I never found out. Hector released me suddenly, and it was almost as though my ears popped. While he was holding me, I had heard nothing but his voice; all other sounds had ceased. Upon being freed, the voices of my sisters and my friends came to my ears in a rush. I turned to look at them. They were all caught up in conversation, and every single one of them was facing the opposite direction, away from me.

I glanced nervously at Hector. He was laughing, putting away his knife. I climbed the porch stairs and put myself in the midst of people, where I was safer.

I learned a lesson. Since then, I have rarely ever spoken to a stranger unless I get to know them first.

SRM

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Replies:

Re: Time Stood Still -- SandieAngel :o), 09:13:17 07/02/01 Mon
- Re: Time Stood Still -- Shannon, 10:11:30 07/02/01 Mon
  - Re: Time Stood Still -- SandieAngel :o), 12:39:19 07/02/01 Mon