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Date Posted: 10:48:32 03/24/01 Sat
Author: SandieAngel :o(
Subject: Stressed Out And Dreamed

I'm all stressed out lately:

Every bit of my work has to meet deadline.
Nothing seems to have been done.
I should have kept that woman
who could do very little
but being dumb.
What I didn't realize at the time was that
every little bit of help counts.
Now I have to do everything by myself.
Perhaps I AM the REAL DUMB one.

Feeling guilty as sin.

Dad is still in the hospital;
I can't find time to be near him.
A time like this,
I should really have been there,
everyday.
But I cannot be there;
I have to spend time in work
for I am the REAL DUMB one.

Feeling guilty as sin.

Forgot my anniversary yesterday;
Received gold chain and pendant,
hugs and kisses,
He had really made me very happy,
but I had nothing to give him in return.
It was the first time I've ever forgotten our anniversary.

Feeling guilty as sin.

Went to work to meet deadline
instead of visiting my daddy in the hospital.
Alas! The stupid system wouldn't work!
Got off without doing overtime.
Walked around the whole mall for 2 hours
trying to find a present for him.
Mind too foggy,
too much worries.

Finally, I settled on a $200.00 gift certificate.
Went home around seven thirty;
but he fell asleep on the couch, again!
He had done that a lot lately;
falling asleep on the couch.
"Wink At Me, My Lover" was actually written for him.
But when I showed him the poem,
he didn't get it.
It wasn't that he didn't care,
but just his mind wasn't there.

Ah might as well, I was deadbeat tired anyway!
Both mentally and physically tired.
Will make it up for today.

Feeling guilty as sin.

~~The Dream~~

Strange dream I had last night,
Cats were fighting in couples.

Some people were trying to hurt me;
but then they were only fighting amongst themselves.

When I saw them, they were in form of cats.
Cats were fighting in couples.

I bend down to look underneath something.
I couldn't remember what it was that I was looking under.
It seemed like a table;
but then it also seemed like my bed.
Two cats were fighting there,
biting at each other.

Feeling some people were out to harm me.
My friends were there to protect me.
Seemed like a few of my friends
were walking in front of me;
and I was the one on the second to last,
with one friend walking behind me.

We were all walking up the stairs to go somewhere.
My friends have baseball bats in their hands;
but all I've got was a ceramic bowl,
which I held it with both my hands.
I thought of it as shield in my dream;
and I thought how it would shatter and hurt my hand
if it was struck with something meant to hurt me.

The stairs seemed dark and yet there was a light somewhere
A yellow light shining from the top of the stairs
We were just walking up the stairs towards it.

Some people were below us;
I could hear the noise they make,
but I couldn't figure out what they were saying.
But the noise were getting louder and louder,
seemed like the people were coming closer and closer.

Suddenly.
my friend from behind me ran up the stairs before us
toward that yellow light.

He turned his face around and said,
"I gotta run, I'll catch up with you guys later."

I wondered why was he saying that,
since it looked like he was ahead of us at the time.

I had seen this guy in another dream of mine.
It was a scary dream like Friday the 13th series.
In that dream he was a murderer.
Whenever his palms turned white,
then he had to kill someone
to make his palm go back to normal.
He was wearing a white shirt in that dream of mine.

But last night he was wearing a pink shirt.
Same face, but had smiled at me and my friends this time.
Not the face of a murderer at all.

"I gotta run, I'll catch up with you guys later."
I wondered what he really meant by that.

Then suddenly I was really scared,
because I had nobody behind me
as I walked up the stairs.

I could still see that yellowish light
shining down from top of the stairs.
The others who were walking up too,
seemed to be getting closer to me now,
as their voice seemed louder and louder,
I was really scared and I woke up.

And I wondered -
What kind of a dream was that??

Feeling guilty as sin;
and I'm all stressed out lately.

SandieAngel :o(
March 24, 2001

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