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Date Posted: 09:16:34 01/21/01 Sun
Author: Raphaela
Subject: Re: Re Map (M)
In reply to: Meloncholy Merri 's message, "Re Map (M)" on 21:15:17 01/19/01 Fri

I like the way you compare feelings to the hot ground coffee

"Sip hot coffee; fresh ground
like these feelings, faltered
and sliced."

Evoking the senses like that makes them more powerful and the reader able to relate - imho anyway.

Also liked

Exposing for the world
this torn sleeve,

Although showing emotions there is an underlying strength of character here. Think I recognise the style ;)

Raphaela

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