Humor on the boards... -- Players Under Protection

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Date Posted: 21:41:56 10/14/02 Mon
Author: Mystique
Subject: Humor on the boards...

Are you addicted to Ultima Online?
Check out the symptoms:
1. You go to a shop expecting 20 people standing around the shopkeeper shouting "Hi sell".
2. You see someone borrowing a pencil from you and shout "GUARDS!"
3. You have a car accident and your first thought is "I hope there'll be a server down with a timewarp!"
4. You're in a hurry and trample down an erlderly woman. You turn around and say "I don't know how this could happen. I'm perfectly rested!"
5. You meet a cat on the street and wonder why it doesn't stay after you say "I've always wanted a pet like you!"
6. You meet a group of punks and ask them if you could join their guild.
7. You didn't eat for days because you haven't been wounded.
8. You log out of Ultima Online. Then you noticed that you have forgotten how to log in again.
9. You go to a school to train your snooping skill.
10. You have trouble with police and expect them to kill you at once.
11. You don't know what to do as you are standing in front of a closed shop.
12. You go to a travel agency and ask them if they just sell runes, or if they also can gate you.
13. You walk to the city looking desperately for the evaluate intelligence button.
14. You suddenly stop your car in the middle of the highway and get out, for you seem to have discovered a Mandrake Root in the woods.
15. You wonder what the vendor in the drugstore means as he asks you what you mean by "orange potion".
16. In forms you fill in your name with your whole title: Thomas, Adept Manager or Mary, Grandmaster Housewife.
17. Before you go to bed you shout "bank" to dipose off your wallet and car keys.
18. Before you die you call all your friends telling them to take care of your equipment.
19. Passing a graveyard you drive slower looking out for zombies and skeletons.
20. You boss wishes you a "Good morning" and you answer "Hail Guildmaster!"
21. If you are tired you go to the bedroom and stand beside your bed.
22. You measure women by their anatomy stats.
23. You have trouble in walking and talking at the same time.
24. After a walk through the forest where you didn't see any animals, you decide to write a letter to the government to trigger a higher respawn rate.
25. You don't understand why you can't take your cow along into the hotel room.
26. You accidentially bump into your friend and instantly check your notoriety.
27. You go to a fashion shop and ask for a bone armor. As the shopkeeper doesn't understand what you mean
you shout "Anybody selling a bone armor???"
28. Being in a strange city you first ask where the next moongate is.
29. Your wife slashes her wrists because of your Ultima Online addiction.
30. You decide only to bring her something to eat and don't help her any more, so her healing skill will raise.
31. Before you go to sleep you ignite a campfire in your room and throw your bedroll to the ground.
32. You wonder why the bank doesn't let you store your toolbox and your fishing pole in the safe.
33. When you meet your friend downtown you ask him "Hail Tom! Any PKs around?"
34. You run naked through the streets in order to be able to carry more weight.
35. When asked why you were late for work, you reply "The lag on the Interstate was ROUGH!"
36. When you see your neighbors cat you think, "Hmmm...fur, a few ribs and If I 'm lucky maybe a little dex!"
37. When you see someone jogging in the park you look behind them for the PKs with crossbows and plate.
38. The 'Dear John' letter your wife left taped to your monitor makes you mad only because it left a sticky blob right where your character appears...
39. You quit your job to try your hand and tailoring and owning a flock of sheep.
40. With your new job as a sheep hereder, you promptly buy four houses, stockpiling useless junk in one and leaving the other three empty "Just in case".
41. When someone at work answers your question with, "I cannot recall..." you offer to sell them some scrolls at "really good prices".
42. You walk around trying to talk to spirits so you will get smarter.
43. When you stop at 7-11 for a slurpee you stand really close to the cashier and say "vendor buy"
44. When someone asks your name at a party, you have to think what character your logged in as...
45. The top sign that you play UO WAYYY too much - you start taking 30 minutes to write Top Ten lists on why you play UO too much...

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