Why nobody watched Firefly. -- All Things Debatable on Firefly

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Date Posted: 10:06:03 02/24/03 Mon
Author: CW
Subject: Why nobody watched Firefly.
In reply to: ZachsMind 's message, "Why Fox dropped Firefly..." on 17:49:33 02/21/03 Fri

Same first note written by a Buffy/Angel fan group.

1. We need to have things blow up more often. Something should blow up at least once a week. And have everybody throw down their guns and karate fight at least twice a week.
2. The women on the show should kiss the men on the show more often, and kiss each other a little more too. No opinion on guys kissing each other.
3. The name "Firefly" doesn't seem to properly convey the idea of a space-western-soap-opera. We recommend you rename the show "River" or "Zoe"
4. The fan groups report they can tell who the bad guys were. We recommend you muddy things up a bit.
5. We recommend you add two new characters to the show. First a male vampire with a soul, who likes to take his shirt off a lot. Second, cute girl. Fan groups respond best to girls who are about twenty years old. We know this is a science fiction program so we recommend you make her a former or future demon who speaks in an exggerated manner, like Cordy or Anya and says what she thinks very literally, to comical effect.
6. The women on the show are wearing too many clothes.
7. You put the show in outer space but I don't recall there ever being any actual demons showing up. So we recommend you get some of your makeup guys from the Buffy tv show and have them doctor up some extras to make them look like they came straight from Sunnydale.
8. That Ron Glass guy plays needs an evil girlfriend. He's as boring as Wesley used to be.
9. Focus groups reported that the rooms inside the space ship looked too much like a poorly furnished studio apartment. We recommend you repaint all the sets black to make them look more like Tara's old dorm room.
10. The women on the show need to be the heros. Fire that ninny Fillion or make him half demon. Either promote Zoe or go wherever you got that cute Gellar chick and hire someone who can fight like that.
11. Get in touch with Eliza Dusku. Have her guest star a lot as Faith.
12. Make the 'future' of the Earth a little grimmer. People wanna believe we're doomed. Right now the show's outlook is just a little depressing, and we want it a lot depressing.

Joss' reply - We always appreciate input from our fans. - Translation - Get Bent!

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