Winter driving in London -- FCS Discussion Forum

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Subject: Winter driving in London

Author:
Ed Harris (London)

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Date Posted: 16:18:41 01/19/05 Wed
In reply to: Jim (Canada) 's message, "Winter Driving" on 15:54:22 01/19/05 Wed

1) Leave at least three boroughs between yourself and the next car. If there is a car in St James, make sure that you're in Camden.
2) Don't worry about going slower: 5 mph through gridlocked Georgian squares is slow enough. You will have plenty of time to get out of the car, go into an adjacent cafe and buy steaming-hot coffee before the queue moves on.
3) Do not slam on the breaks: cyclists are an expendable menace.
4) If you start to skid, steer for the nearest bus-lane which will inevitably be completely empty of buses, and its pointless existence is probably what's causing the traffic anyway by narrowing all the roads.
5) Keep your windscreen washer fluid topped up and mixed with concentrated carbolic acid to cut through the noxious sediment of lead and sulphur oxides admixed with greasy soot which will inevitably turn the snow on your windcreen into a kind of poisonous greeny-brown slush.

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Replies:

[> Subject: I was giving serious advice - but yours is very funny
Author: Jim (Canada) [ Edit \| View ]	Date Posted: 18:10:58 01/19/05 Wed [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> Subject: ...
Author: Ed Harris (London) [ Edit \| View ]	Date Posted: 18:42:57 01/19/05 Wed ... I know you were giving serious advice, but I had a frustrating day yesterday trying to get through this blasted Town! [ Post a Reply to This Message ]