Re: Never Too Late -- K Koala Poetry

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Subject: Re: Never Too Late

Author:
Oksana Lutsenko

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Date Posted: 00:32:32 10/15/02 Tue
In reply to: Jemmones 's message, "Never Too Late" on 22:42:25 10/13/02 Sun

>He searched his weary heart and head,
>Till he has found the reason,
>To enjoy the moment and look forward
>to a brand new season.

Here's asuggestion, i felt your struggle, and thought through it:

He searched his weary heart and head
Till he has found the reason
---> To learn to love his worth and hope
---> To see a brand new season.

Hope that hepls, even if it inspires a different idea. Great poem love your style. It's... consuming (in the BEST way possible), if you will....
~Oksana

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Re: Never Too Late

Author:
Jemmones
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Date Posted: 13:04:22 10/16/02 Wed

Hi Oksana. Thank you for your suggested replacement of two lines I agree with your assessment And will ammend origianl shortly. Thank you for your Critique and your help. Much appreciated. (J)

>A young man hides inside his mind
>to be alone and cry.
>He needs to see where he can find
>a reason not to die.
>
>His love is lost and friends all moved
>to pastures new. Their leaving
>brought sorrow to his fragile mood,
>now he's alone and grieving.
>
>He searched his weary heart and head,
>Till he has found the reason,
>To learn to love his worth and hope
>To see a brand new season.
>
>With all this weight upon him,
>His nature shines straight through
>And dulls the thought of doin'
>What his feelings want him to.
>
>He dials a number on the phone,
>While music he does hum,
>The call is answered by someone,
>He simply says .."Hi Mum"!

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