Ole Doc Heat-machine -- UWS RP Board

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Date Posted: 07:23:48 07/28/03 Mon
Author: Dr. Karate
Subject: Ole Doc Heat-machine

[The scene opens outside a rather large house in the middle of suburbia. In front of the house, Dr. Karate is stretched out on a deck chair, wearing nothing but a set of speedos, sunglasses, and a stethoscope. In one hand, he is holding an overly elaborate drink, complete with tiny umbrella. It is an incredibly sunny day and Dr. Karate has his eyes closed against the sun and is just basking in it.]

[To Karate's left, standing in the driveway of the house, is Uesugi, decked out in stuffy black suit with a black bow-tie. He is currently washing a red Jaguar that sits in the driveway and still wearing his black suit jacket.]

[Dr. Karate opens his eyes and looks down, shifting his stethoscope to a new position, then inspecting the spot to be sure that it hasn't left a tan line. After taking a sip from his drink, he perks his head towards Uesugi.]

Dr. Karate: Go easy on that paintjob, Jeeves-san. (shaking his glass) And I need some more ice.

[Uesugi rolls his eyes before dropping the sponge into a nearby bucket of suds and turning towards Dr. Karate. Smiling, he gives him a short bow, then takes the glass and heads into the house.]

Dr. Karate: Now this is the life. I wrestle once every six months, and collect a nice paycheck, in addition to my regular salary as a physician. Everyone in the UWS loves me, of course, and now I've got a subserviant butler working for me for free.

[Uesugi returns from inside the house with the glass of unknown red beverage, topped up and refilled with ice. He sets it down on the armrest next to Dr. Karate, gives him another bow, then heads back to work on the Jaguar. Karate takes the new celery stick out and crunches on it loudly.]

Dr. Karate: Don't forget, she needs a wax too.

[Uesugi inhales and exhales deeply as he continues to work on the car in the sweltering heat. Suddenly, the beeping tones of "I Told the Witch Doctor" can be heard. Dr. Karate reaches down into the grass beneath this deckchair, retrieves his cellphone, and flips it open.]

Dr. Karate: Karate here. (pause) Yeah. (pause) Really? So what happened to Lee Todd? (pause) Well, never let it be said that I would turn down a chance to ruin somebody's debut. What did you say his name was? (he begins to laugh) Ok, not a problem.

[Karate flips the phone shut and drops it down onto the grass.]

Dr. Karate: You know something, this grass could do with a trim. Jeeves-san, when did you last cut this grass?

Uesugi: Kinou

Dr. Karate: What, yesterday? Sheesh, well it needs to be cut again. Take care of it after the Jag is done, would you?

[Uesugi gives him a curt nod then grabs a garden hose and proceeds to spray the soap suds off the car.]

Dr. Karate: Guess who that was on the phone.

[Uesugi ignores him.]

Dr. Karate: It was Craig Lassiter. Apparently Lee Todd is MIA and he wants me to take on this new kid, Dark Jester. Good thing too. I need a powerful win to make up for that scrap against Icestorm. But this Jester guy, whoever he is, is going to have to face the fury of Dr. Karate. And you don't sleep against a fury like Dr. Karate, no sir. It's like a dose of salts to a narcoleptic... like a smack in the face to the overly absorbed... like a noose to a cattle rustler... like an acid to a base... like a rolled up newspaper to an incontinent dog... like fire to water... like a monkey-powered dune buggy with wings and those cool fins things just alongside twin mounted 50 millimetre automatic cannons with heat-seeking...

[Dr. Karate looks up at Uesugi, who is still hosing off the car.]

Dr. Karate: What was I talking about?

[Following a shrug from Uesugi, Karate takes another sip from his drink. He absent-mindedly beams a reflection from the tip of his stethoscope onto his leg before lying back and adjusting his mirrored sunglasses against the sun.]

Dr. Karate: Yes sir, this is the life.

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