Subject:  you might be a rennie if... |
Author:
sweet tart
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Date Posted: 05:03:41 05/26/04 Wed
Last Revised April 14th, 2004
You just might be a Rennie if.....
1...your boots cost more than your car
2...your gun-rack holds swords
3...where your hair ends -- your tail begins!
4...your boyfriend's skirt is shorter than yours
5...your boyfriend wears tights...and you don't shave your legs
6...you play poker with Tarot cards
7...you've ever had to list your occupation as "juggler"
8...a codpiece is not something you scarfed down for dinner
9...you dont understand why EVERY liquor store doesn't sell mead
10...you can change out of full Elizabethan garb...while driving!
11...you've had to bathe in the sink at a convenience store, a Wal-Mart, a gas station, etc.
12...you know what "beer-thirty" is
13...on Sundays, you laugh at all the people waiting in line for beer -before- beer-thirty
14...the thought of eating turkey legs scares the hell out of you
15...YOU know -why- the thought of eating turkey legs should scare the hell out of ANYONE
16...your breasts are used as a wallet or a change purse (you're probably a wench, too, if you answer "yes" to this one)
17...you hear the Tortuga Twins are coming to town and you hide any female children you have or, contrariwise....
18...you have at least three escape plans should your parents choose to come between you and the Tortuga Twins...or any other quality role models
19...you know more than five people with names like Bear or Wolf or Tree or Fish or Slayer or Nova or....
20...your make-up kit consists of tooth-black...and some mud
21...more people know you by your Faire name than the name on your driver's license
22...if your Faire name eventually got PUT on your drivers license, there is no "might", you ARE a Rennie
23...you've ever had to delay putting gas in your car because you forgot to stop at that "cool" gas station by the Faire-site and, damnit, you're still in garb!
24...you've ever had to list "Olde English" as a second language
25...your kids recognize Arthur and Merlyn before they recognize the Cat In the Hat
26...your wedding party contains knights, monks, ladies in waiting, and guardsmen instead of groomsmen
27...you drive more than two hundred miles to go to the Faire
28...when talking to friends your conversations often start with "And this one time, at the faire...."
29...you have enough edged weaponry in your house to make even your brother drool
30...you have corrected your history teacher more than once in the day's class...and she's turning this funny shade of red
31...you constantly check your favorite faire's webcam, just to see what the weather is looking like there, even if its the middle of the week (and yes, TRF does have such a webcam)
32...your divorce decree lists the Ren Faire as settlement property (mind you, it'd be kinda cool to -own- a Faire.....)
33...you own more garb than street clothes
34...you've ever had to describe the place you've been living as "The blue tent/RV/camper/car at the end of the second row, by the privies and the shower"
35...you can watch period movies and pick out all the social and costume screw-ups ("That's not English! It's Prussian!")
36...you've ever been properly wenched or rougued
37...you have to get OUT of character
38...you start wearing garb two weeks before the faire to "get in the mood"
39...you know why purple is the "forbidden color"
40...you wear garb year 'round
41...you know of more faire musicians and musical groups than modern ones
42...you drop your chocolate-covered cheesecake-on-a-stick in the dirt...and eat it anyway
43...you know what Faire boogers are (known as "nose goblins" in certain areas)
44...you have more sharp steel on you than most restaurant kitchens
45...you have a homcidal urge when someone calls your garb "a cute costume"
46...you have tried to teach yourself to open a Guinness with a sword
47...you have SUCCEEDED in opening a Guiness with a sword
48...you can undo a bodice faster than you can tie a pair of sneakers
49...you beam with pride when you take your children to a ballgame and they yell "Huzzah!" when a home run is hit
50...you buy a new shirt at the mall and decide you want to wear it, and belatedly remember that you should use somewhere else besides the parking lot to change into it
51...you look at furniture and your first thought isn't "How will this look in my house," but "Wow! That fabric would be great as a bodice or doublet!"
52...you're at a bar, the band is taking requests and they don't know Wild Mountain Thyme or The Mermaid Song...and look at you strangely for asking
53...you spend more on garb then you do your work attire
(Wait a minute, your garb IS your work-attire! Next!)
54...you go shopping for 'danes and find more things to either wear around your belt, or blouses that will double as chemises
55...you buy a camera bag for your digital camera that matches your garb and has a belt loop (NOTE: this is -not- easy)
56...you've done live steel in Parking Lot Two (for older NYRF Rennies)
57...you still say "Thank thee" and "Anon" six months after Faire-closing
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