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[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [comments] -- Lain, 11:36:45 07/10/03 Thu

This is your post back with stuff you should learn:

There was only one thing wrong with this plan of teching.He didn't know any counter attacks.He had never had to use them,instead relying on his force in battle. He usually delivered one heavy attack to a vital area,and his opponents would fade away like the setting sun on a beach. [ NEVER show your weaknesses. This means that your adversary will know you possess no cunning.]His bodice was very big,and he was the tallest of any animal he knew for miles around. Being 22hh and of a very formidable weight,he had used these to defeat his challengers. [Good. Intimidation is key. ]He knew his teachers strength and she was more experienced than him.He gave her another quick glance,summing up her position and size. [Bad bad bad. Don’t let me know you aren’t experienced! If you doubt yourself I’ve already won half the battle. ]When he wanted,the burning fire on his side could disappear,and his flameing occules reduced merely to glowing embers.A bit of concentration and this was done with ease,leaving him the darkest shadowy ebony. Taking shallow breaths for a moment,he semingly melted into the surrounding blackness.Being absolutely still for a moment,he tooka few deep breaths,filling his lungs then letting it free again without a sound uttered. [ I’ll adress this part in my counter post.]Preperation done now,he picked up his great hooves. Picking them up and setting them down with barely a sound,tucking in his wings as close to his body as possible,he moved forward.Moving in a quick trot,he did almost a quarter of a circle around the mare before turining to look at her left shoulder.[ I’ll talk about this too.]A little behind her shoulder he made his mental target.Now in a ground devouring lope,he made for his target silently.

Rearing to a high height but quickly as so not to be caught in that position,his mark wasn't far below.His intention was to come crashing down on around halfway down the line of thoractic vertebrae. [ Don’t use medical terms too much. It doesn’t flow right.]These were the primary vertebrae for the spine. [ Good, you explained the position of the bones.]His right hoof was held lower that the left,expecting to go in first,followed by the left,which would land on the joining between the first thoractic vertebrea and the last few true ribs,smashing both as it went through.If this attack went as planned without any flaw,the thoractic vertebrea would be demolished,along with a great rip in a few muscles,first the lumbodorsal fascia,followed shortly thereafter by the trapezius,then with the left,the obl. abdominus ext.If the hoooves penetrated deep enough to break the whole bones,there was a posibility of the diaphragm,liver, posterior vena cava,thoractic aorta,and/or the left bronchus being ruptured or injured.All of the above would leave the adverasry in much pain and immobilize her temporarily or permanently.This was,or course,if the attack went perfectly as planned,which it was almost certian not to.[ This is a very awkard attack. From your writing it sounds like you are coming over her head and not on her side. If you are coming over her side then explain that more.]

If the mare chose to move forward in the short time she had,one hoof would land on the lumbar vertebrae,and the other on either the sacrum,tuber coaxe,or the tuber sacrale.There are some muscles to go through obviously,though not near as many as the before mentioned.His hooves would definetly shred the fine fibers of the lumbodorsal fascia,and possibly rip through a bit of the biceps femoris.And,of course,there were some minor organs to worry about,though nothing as major.The cervix,ureter,and left ovary were all in danger.If he suceeded in puncturing the ovary,it would make sucessful breeding much harder,therfore almost erasing the posibility of little Exists running rampant.That was just another possibility in this attack. [ Good way to explain it. Don’t take it so VERY in depth. The reader will get bored. I would have taken out the last sentence. It doesn’t flow.]

If Exist chose to move backwards,the right hoof would almost definetly demolish a great number of true and false ribs.The left would land atop the shoulder bone itself.The trapezius,triceps brachii,and latissimus dorsi were all in trouble.The organs were of the most signifigance this time probably.The liver,posterior vena cava,left coronary artery,pulmonary artery,and the heart were in sufficent danger of being pierced by shattering bone,or crushed by a cave in of the sides without the supporting ribs. [ It probably wouldn’t pierce the heart. Almost nothing can.]But there were still more ways she could choose.[ Again this last sentence is weird.]

If she chose to sidestep away from him,a very risky move anyway, [ GOOD! that makes me think not to do it. Nice wording.]with the posibility she might fall in the manuvering,and seeing she had to be very fast because he was coming,ready or not.Both of the massive hooves would be enroute directly to her ribcage,with the certainty of crushing them all from a more outside angle,causing them to collapse inwardly,shards flying into all the organs remotely near there,and remaining lodged in muscles,ripping and tearing at them even further.[ Even better.]The left ventral colon,spleen,small intestine,large intestine,diaphragm,liver,posterior vena cava,thoractic aorta,left coronary artery,left bronchus,pulmonary artery,and again the heart would be naming a few.[ Most of the time I would leave out organs. They aren’t usually affected.]

If she tried to sidestep into him,he would land atop is mark,making for almost the same effects as if he had made a perfect hit.She didn't have enough time to step into him and try to kock him over,that would also take alot of strength to knock over or unbalance a fullly grown shire stallion. [ Since you seem to be attacking from the front she could actually very well move into you and with a well placed kick, knock you over. But there are better ways of getting out of this one.]

If she tried to turn her hindquarters towards him,he would land at an angle,breaking a numerous ammount of her hind bones,and an essential one for holding the legs up.[Good description. Remember intimdation is key. ]He would also tear a muscle of great importance if she valued rearing,bucking,or simply moving her hindquarters at all.If she tried truning her forequarters towards him,his hooves would still cause all the initial damage,undoubtedly missing the heart,possibly shattering the sternum,scapula,humerus,or shoulder joint. [ The sternum is very hard to shatter. Again, I would stay away from that area.]All of these would make moving her front quarters quite impossible,and causing unimaginable pain to her when she did.

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[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Ok,not as bad as I thought ^.^ -- Megan/Flames, 13:03:27 07/11/03 Fri

>This is your post back with stuff
>you should learn:

There was only one thing
>wrong with this plan of teching.He didn't know any
>counter attacks.He had never had to use them,instead
>relying on his force in battle. He usually delivered
>one heavy attack to a vital area,and his opponents
>would fade away like the setting sun on a beach.
>[ NEVER show your
>weaknesses. This means that your adversary will know
>you possess no cunning.]His bodice was very
>big,and he was the tallest of any animal he knew for
>miles around. Being 22hh and of a very formidable
>weight,he had used these to defeat his challengers.
>[Good. Intimidation is key.
>]He knew his teachers strength and she was more
>experienced than him.He gave her another quick
>glance,summing up her position and size. >color="springgreen">[Bad bad bad. Don’t let me know
>you aren’t experienced! If you doubt yourself I’ve
>already won half the battle. ]When he
>wanted,the burning fire on his side could
>disappear,and his flameing occules reduced merely to
>glowing embers.A bit of concentration and this was
>done with ease,leaving him the darkest shadowy ebony.
>Taking shallow breaths for a moment,he semingly melted
>into the surrounding blackness.Being absolutely still
>for a moment,he tooka few deep breaths,filling his
>lungs then letting it free again without a sound
>uttered. [ I’ll adress this
>part in my counter post.]Preperation done
>now,he picked up his great hooves. Picking them up
>and setting them down with barely a sound,tucking in
>his wings as close to his body as possible,he moved
>forward.Moving in a quick trot,he did almost a quarter
>of a circle around the mare before turining to look at
>her left shoulder.[ I’ll
>talk about this too.]A little behind her
>shoulder he made his mental target.Now in a ground
>devouring lope,he made for his target silently.
>
>Rearing to a high height but quickly as so not to be
>caught in that position,his mark wasn't far below.His
>intention was to come crashing down on around halfway
>down the line of thoractic vertebrae. >color=”springgreen>[ Don’t use medical terms too much.
>It doesn’t flow right.]These were the primary
>vertebrae for the spine. [
>Good, you explained the position of the
>bones.]His right hoof was held lower that the
>left,expecting to go in first,followed by the
>left,which would land on the joining between the first
>thoractic vertebrea and the last few true
>ribs,smashing both as it went through.If this attack
>went as planned without any flaw,the thoractic
>vertebrea would be demolished,along with a great rip
>in a few muscles,first the lumbodorsal fascia,followed
>shortly thereafter by the trapezius,then with the
>left,the obl. abdominus ext.If the hoooves penetrated
>deep enough to break the whole bones,there was a
>posibility of the diaphragm,liver, posterior vena
>cava,thoractic aorta,and/or the left bronchus being
>ruptured or injured.All of the above would leave the
>adverasry in much pain and immobilize her temporarily
>or permanently.This was,or course,if the attack went
>perfectly as planned,which it was almost certian not
>to.[ This is a very awkard
>attack. From your writing it sounds like you are
>coming over her head and not on her side. If you are
>coming over her side then explain that more.]
>
>If the mare chose to move forward in the short time
>she had,one hoof would land on the lumbar
>vertebrae,and the other on either the sacrum,tuber
>coaxe,or the tuber sacrale.There are some muscles to
>go through obviously,though not near as many as the
>before mentioned.His hooves would definetly shred the
>fine fibers of the lumbodorsal fascia,and possibly rip
>through a bit of the biceps femoris.And,of
>course,there were some minor organs to worry
>about,though nothing as major.The cervix,ureter,and
>left ovary were all in danger.If he suceeded in
>puncturing the ovary,it would make sucessful breeding
>much harder,therfore almost erasing the posibility of
>little Exists running rampant.That was just another
>possibility in this attack. >color="springgreen">[ Good way to explain it. Don’t
>take it so VERY in depth. The reader will get bored.
>I would have taken out the last sentence. It doesn’t
>flow.]
>
>If Exist chose to move backwards,the right hoof would
>almost definetly demolish a great number of true and
>false ribs.The left would land atop the shoulder bone
>itself.The trapezius,triceps brachii,and latissimus
>dorsi were all in trouble.The organs were of the most
>signifigance this time probably.The liver,posterior
>vena cava,left coronary artery,pulmonary artery,and
>the heart were in sufficent danger of being pierced by
>shattering bone,or crushed by a cave in of the sides
>without the supporting ribs. >color="springgreen">[ It probably wouldn’t pierce the
>heart. Almost nothing can.]But there were
>still more ways she could choose. >color="springgreen">[ Again this last sentence is
>weird.]
>
>If she chose to sidestep away from him,a very risky
>move anyway, [ GOOD! that
>makes me think not to do it. Nice wording.]with
>the posibility she might fall in the manuvering,and
>seeing she had to be very fast because he was
>coming,ready or not.Both of the massive hooves would
>be enroute directly to her ribcage,with the certainty
>of crushing them all from a more outside angle,causing
>them to collapse inwardly,shards flying into all the
>organs remotely near there,and remaining lodged in
>muscles,ripping and tearing at them even further. >color="springgreen">[ Even better.]The left
>ventral colon,spleen,small intestine,large
>intestine,diaphragm,liver,posterior vena
>cava,thoractic aorta,left coronary artery,left
>bronchus,pulmonary artery,and again the heart would be
>naming a few.[ Most of the
>time I would leave out organs. They aren’t usually
>affected.]
>
>If she tried to sidestep into him,he would land atop
>is mark,making for almost the same effects as if he
>had made a perfect hit.She didn't have enough time to
>step into him and try to kock him over,that would also
>take alot of strength to knock over or unbalance a
>fullly grown shire stallion. >color="springgreen">[ Since you seem to be attacking
>from the front she could actually very well move into
>you and with a well placed kick, knock you over. But
>there are better ways of getting out of this
>one.]
>
>If she tried to turn her hindquarters towards him,he
>would land at an angle,breaking a numerous ammount of
>her hind bones,and an essential one for holding the
>legs up.[Good description.
>Remember intimdation is key. ]He would also
>tear a muscle of great importance if she valued
>rearing,bucking,or simply moving her hindquarters at
>all.If she tried truning her forequarters towards
>him,his hooves would still cause all the initial
>damage,undoubtedly missing the heart,possibly
>shattering the sternum,scapula,humerus,or shoulder
>joint. [ The sternum is very
>hard to shatter. Again, I would stay away from that
>area.]All of these would make moving her front
>quarters quite impossible,and causing unimaginable
>pain to her when she did.

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[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Not at all [inside] -- Exist, 15:18:55 07/11/03 Fri

Rewrite the post with the comments I've given you. -sage nod-

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[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Ok,here goes -- Megan, 18:03:53 07/11/03 Fri


(Btw,I am now playing in Eclypse.I'm at Syric Hollow.Name's Moonshadow on there.I read thw whole fight between Exist and Shaan.It was very good,I learned alot.Too bad Shaan forfeited.It would have been a really good one.)

Basically the same except improvised....

There was only one thing wrong with this plan of teching.He didn't know any counter attacks.He had never had to use them,instead relying on his force in battle.He usually delivered one heavy attack to a vital area,and his opponents would fade away like the setting sun on a beach.His bodice was very big,and he was the tallest of any animal he knew for miles around.Being 22hh and of a very formidable weight,he had used these to defeat his challengers.He gave her another quick glance,summing up her position and size.When he wanted,the burning fire on his side could disappear,and his flameing occules reduced merely to glowing embers.A bit of concentration and this was done with ease,leaving him the darkest shadowy ebony.Taking shallow breaths for a moment,he semingly melted into the surrounding blackness.Being absolutely still for a moment,he tooka few deep breaths,filling his lungs then letting it free again without a sound uttered.Preperation done now,he picked up his great hooves.Picking them up and setting them down with barely a sound,tucking in his wings as close to his body as possible,he moved forward.He had been facing her,now he was moved to where they were side aligned by side,with distance between them of course,turning now to see her shoulder.A little behind her shoulder he made his mental target.Now in a ground devouring lope,he made for his target silently.

Rearing to a high height but quickly as so not to be caught in that position,his mark wasn't far below.His intention was to come crashing down on around halfway down the line of thoractic vertebrae.These were the primary vertebrae for the spine.His right hoof was held lower that the left,expecting to go in first,followed by the left,which would land on the joining between the first thoractic vertebrea and the last few true ribs,smashing both as it went through.If this attack went as planned without any flaw,the thoractic vertebrea would be demolished,along with a great rip in a few muscles,first the lumbodorsal fascia,followed shortly thereafter by the trapezius,then with the left,the obl. abdominus ext.These muscles aide or hold up and together the ribs.All of the above would leave the adverasry in much pain and immobilize her temporarily or permanently.This was,or course,if the attack went perfectly as planned,which it was almost certian not too.

If the mare chose to move forward in the short time she had,one hoof would land on the lumbar vertebrae,and the other on either the sacrum,tuber coaxe,or the tuber sacrale.There are some muscles to go through obviously,though not near as many as the before mentioned.His hooves would definetly shred the fine fibers of the lumbodorsal fascia,and possibly rip through a bit of the biceps femoris.And,of course,there were some minor organs to worry about,though nothing as major.The cervix,ureter,and left ovary were all in danger.If he suceeded in puncturing the ovary,it would make sucessful breeding much harder,therfore almost erasing the posibility of little Exists running rampant.

If Exist chose to move backwards,the right hoof would almost definetly demolish a great number of true and false ribs.The left would land atop the shoulder bone itself.The trapezius,triceps brachii,and latissimus dorsi were all in trouble.The organs were of the most signifigance this time probably.The liver,posterior vena cava,left coronary artery,pulmonary artery,and the heart were in sufficent danger of being pierced by shattering bone,or crushed by a cave in of the sides without the supporting ribs.

If she chose to sidestep away from him,a very risky move anyway,with the posibility she might fall in the manuvering,and seeing she had to be very fast because he was coming,ready or not.Both of the massive hooves would be enroute directly to her ribcage,with the certainty of crushing them all from a more outside angle,causing them to collapse inwardly,shards flying into some of the organs remotely near there,and remaining lodged in muscles,ripping and tearing at them even further.

If she tried to sidestep into him,he would land atop is mark,making for almost the same effects as if he had made a perfect hit.She didn't have enough time to step into him and try to kock him over,that would also take alot of strength to knock over or unbalance a fullly grown shire stallion,especially from the angle that he was coming from.

If she tried to turn her hindquarters towards him,he would land at an angle,breaking a numerous ammount of her hind bones,and an essential one for holding the legs up.He would also tear a muscle of great importance if she valued rearing,bucking,or simply moving her hindquarters at all.If she tried truning her forequarters towards him,his hooves would still cause all the initial damage,possibly shattering the scapula,humerus,or shoulder joint.All of these would make moving her front quarters quite impossible,and causing unimaginable pain to her when she did.

Well,made some changes where you made comments.Didn't have time to re-write a new post,so I hope this is good enough.

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[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> -claps- -- Lain, 23:24:31 07/11/03 Fri

MUCH!!!! better. I love it. -pets- Eclypse will love you. Unfortunately I killed off Exist there. :) I have new charry at new territory (Omegi Coast) his name is Java.

Java's Post in Syric Hollow:
http://members4.boardhost.com/spareroomb/msg/10734.html

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[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> ^Smiles^ -- Megan, 10:25:51 07/13/03 Sun

Thank you.I can't find the link for Omegi Coast though,I was planning more charachters in the future and I wanted one to go there,but alas,I can't find it.So,I am improving?

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[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Yes -- Lain, 12:20:41 07/13/03 Sun

Check out the home page again. (got to http://www.the-fifth-element.net and click on hosted. Dreia just updated the layout)

Its nice there. Java is beyond cool. -sage nod-

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[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> ^Smiles again^ -- Megan, 16:11:20 07/13/03 Sun

Right after I posted that,I checked Eclypse again and it was updated.I felt stupid.Lol.But anyway,you said you would counter my attack then I was supposed to counter yours.Are you still going to do that ornot,or are you in the process?Just curious...

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