Create a New Forum Admin Login Member Login Contribute to Voyager Search VoyForums Help Desk VoyForums Exchange VoyForums Directory/Categories VoyForums Homepage VoyForums News FAQ - Frequently Asked Questions

[ Show ]

Support VoyForums

[ Shrink ]

VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time ]

Subject: Hunting the prey Author: Soulja [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 22:10:48 12/29/00 Fri The scene begins as Phil Network is seen standing outdoors amongst some trees... it's dark outside, and crickets can be heard in the background... he nods to the cameraman and begins to speak... Phil: Well folks, don't ask why, but I'm out here in the uh... "wilderness" I guess, although if ya asked me this is as far from the wilderness as you can get... as AODWF star $oulja has requested some air time. Phil turns to his left to find $oulja, who is holding some sort of big fishing net... Phil: $oulja, glad you could make it. $oulja: The pleasure is, as always, your's Phil... Phil: Very well then... And for what reason have you drug the AODWF staff out here? And... wh- what's with the net? $oulja begins to speak in a mockingly sophisticated tone.. $oulja: Well that's quite simple Phillip, I'm hunting panther. Phil: Panther?! $oulja: Exactly Phil, panther. Now I know what you're thinking Phil, why hunt panther when I've got Panther in the ring next week... well I figured there's nothin' like a little warm up, and a panther's a panther, so let's see what we can find, shall we? Phil: Um, I'm not so sure you're going to find many panthers out here... $oulja: Ahhh what's the matter with you, we're in the outdoors, amongst trees and the such... where else would a feline of the wild be chillin' like a villain? Now quick, follow me... and be berry, berry qwuiet! Phil rolls his eyes... he and $oulja take a few steps to the left, and suddenly it is obvious that they are not in the wilderness at all, but are instead in some rural neighborhood... they take about a dozen steps, and $oulja spots something... $oulja: Shhh! There he is... The cameras pan around to reveal a solid black cat sitting on the porch of one of the houses... **meow** Phil: Oh for the love of Pete that's just a little cat! $oulja: Look do you wanna take the net and go catch him?! Phil: Well, I- $oulja: Of course you don't!! Now pipe down and listen... ya see, this is gonna be difficult... As opposed to the cakewalk I'll have on Waysted with Panther, who seems to be looking past me, so to speak... He says I'm none of his concern, well if losing doesn't matter to you then I guess you have nothing to worry about. This scrubini decides to instead focus his attention elsewhere, thus leaving the door of opportunity wiiiiiide open... Hey, a win's a win, so I'll take it any way I can get it, yaknowhatimean? Phil: Of course... now can we get this wild goose chase over with? $oulja: Hey who's chasin' a goose? Heheh... The truth is, this Panther fella' is about as lost as Stevie Wonder in a blackout. While he's sayin' he's gonna put me through the worst pain of my life, callin' me unoriginal, and basically just bitchin' like a trailer whore gettin' denied a Fingerhut card, I'm out here trainin' my ass off for this match! Phil: Yyyyeah.... this will definitely get ya ready, I'm sure of it. $oulja: Phil you sure do have a mouth on ya- ahh hell with it... let's see if we can't capture the enemy... here, watch this... $oulja reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a can of tuna... he pops the top and sets it on the ground about 20 feet from the porch where the cat is sitting... $oulja: Heeeeere kitty kitty kitty.... **meow** The cat jumps down and walks towards the tuna... it begins to eat the can's contents and $oulja starts to grin... $oulja: Would ya look at that... Like a moth to a flame... like a fish to a worm... like a mouse to cheese... like... $oulja swipes the net around and swoops the cat up inside... **mer-ROWWW** $oulja: Like a retard to a short bus.... hahaha.... And just like this was as easy as 1.. 2.. 3.... so will be the j-o-b that you'll be doin' on Waysted, Panther! I'll not only beat you, I'll embarrass you... I'll make you go back and say, ohhhh shit I wish I hadn't looked past the future of this company, whyyyy was I so STUPID?! Well as the saying goes, stupid is as stupid does, and a picture is worth a thousand words, so say cheese, bitch. Phil gets a confused look on his face... $oulja: You ain't gotta like me, ya just mad ‘cause I tell it how it is and you tell it how it MIGHT be... And on Waysted, it's gonna be this SoB puttin' you down for count and... $oulja holds up the cat inside of the net **meow... hisssss** $oulja: If you're good, I might even let ya walk out of the arena. $oulja dumps the cat out of the net, and it runs out of sight... $oulja: So look past me all ya want big shot... ‘cause even if you were lookin' me square in the face and takin' me seriously, I'd STILL stop... drop... open up shop on your ass. That's right... look right past me... look right past me, and into that ambulance parked outside the arena... $oulja glares into the camera before turning around and walking off... Phil: Uh, $oulja what should we do with the net... $oulja: Bend over and I'll show ya. Phil: Very funny.. Folks, this is Phil Network, signing off.... *under his breath* can you believe that guy... End of scene [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]