| Subject: Ten Minutes of Fame |
Author:
Antonio Montana
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Date Posted: 22:06:31 12/29/00 Fri
[[You want you ten minutes of fame Jeff? Well you got it whether you like it or not...First thing is first, when you mention my name in the same sentence as other Legend's, make sure you address me as Antonio "The Messiah" Montana for all the Muslim's, or Antonio "Allah" Montana will work. Just make sure you address me as Antonio "GOD" Montana for the Christians...but for the Hindu, Buddhist's and rest of the Asian religions…Antonio "Universal Being" Montana will work. Oh and for the Atheist's out there...Antonio "You better believe in this GOD" Montana. For the dirty Mexicans a.k.a. Jeff-holics, Antonio "El God Almighty" Montana. I could name every single religion, but I don't need to…they worship me anyway. From Amish to Mormon to Jewish…I am the Enlightened One. The thing you got to realize is aside from the reputations, the egos, and the so-called "Hallo Fama's"…is that if one man can change the world, imagine what one man can do, AODWF. I, Antonio "God is my middle name" Montana is a man of his word. I pledge allegiance to beat down those who think they are better, when in reality when their women see me on TV, they tend to get wetter. Oh, and by the way…if you don't watch yo' bitch…you might need a crowbar to pry her apart from my dick.]]
[[Jeff-bonics, have you bought your official copy today? I have. Do you have wiggeritus? Here are the following symptoms. Do you get confused about the color of your skin? Do you read "The Source" magazine or Rap Pages? Do you watch UPN, do you wear FUBU, do you like Allen Iverson, is your role model Eminem, do you dye your hair bleached blond, have you tried afro sheen, are you a mixed up cracker who wears Lugz? Have you hit puberty? Do you know what the birds and the bees are all about? Are you not old enough to buy a pack of Newport's? If you have these symptoms, you have Jeff-Syndrome. To be cured, you must watch constant PBS, re-runs of Sesame Street, and listen to hooked on phonics cassette tapes. Yes, you can still be saved. Jeff, bottomline…Italians versus pre-adolescent wiggaz with no pubic hair. I'd beat your ass on Jerry Springer. You don't stand a chance.]]
[[For a guy who speak's the truth, you sure lied out of your ass. You lied to the fans, lied to yourself…but hey, your going to burn in hell for that. Its simple stepping to me is suicide and that basically means you could die. Capiche? My last promo did nothing for you? How ignorant can we get? Tsk, Tsk…You know, it did a hell of a lot more than you think… One, I waited for you to make the first mistake, which you did by opening your mouth. Second, it could have saved you from suffering the feeling of humiliation as a result of a WAR of words, which it didn't. In conclusion, you just proved to be a liar, a dumb ass, and a FUTURE victim of a copyrighted, all rights reserved, made in the Bronx, written, produced, directed, starring in it, beat down of the millenium. Sucks to be you.]]
[[An even deadlier assumption, you think I'm the trash of all trash. Now, you can call me all the trash in the world, waste, filth…but we all know what kind of trash you represent. Yeah, for those who want to know the answer to that one…just walk down to the nearest trailer park and you will see a whole gang of what Vincent cash is. So far, lets look at the list…bullshit artist? Check. Idiotic? Check. Dead Man? Check. White Trash? Check. Gay? Oh, we haven't covered that yet. Stay Tuned. No mic. skills? Check. Verdict is in, you definitely ain't got what it takes to defeat a man of my stature. You might as well stop jockin' my title of being the Future. After all, I am triple dimensional…I am the past, the present and the future.]]
[[Antonio can match cliche for cliche, he is not just plain "Antonio"...but the "Italian Stallion" Antonio Montana...and when I say that he is more than the first name. I mean more game too...recognize Jeff because that fateful day when we face, Antonio Montana's name won't matter, everything I did before won't matter, it will just be the present. And just like I have done in the past, it will be another accomplishment to add to the future. I just broke it down to you why I am the Past, the Present and the Future.]]
[["Stick 2 the Script" plays as the music from Jay-Z is heard introducing the scene. As the camera fades from black and zooms in on a room full of people, the scenery changes quickly and rapidly with people walking, talking, standing, running, laughing and other normal activity. Each frame is like hours shown in a matter of seconds. Time passes on as day turns into night and back into day. Then shit is rewinded, the camera zooms in on a hotel room. The music cuts off. A. Felicia is on a laptop typing, as Anastasia is in the bedroom. Beer cans are all over filling the trashcan up. Some clothes are scattered all over the floor, Champagne glasses are on the nightstand, and "Victoria's Secret" attire is hanging on the lampshade. Your dick hard yet? As the camera pans into the next room where Antonio Montana is in his boxer's putting on his rolex. He looks like he earned himself a hangover, but its interview time....]]
Antonio Montana Antonio saves the best for last, but hell you ain't even worth my worst. You have no idea who is who or what is what in the game of who is who and what is what. So its time to educate or [Hick accent…] edu-macate…whichever one your head understands. So introduce to you Montana 101, time for orientation because you ain't even on that level of average intelligence to attend class. Do your homework on me son…I walk on ice and don't slip and bust my ass. I walk in rain and not get wet, and I walk on fire and not get burned. I'm the last man you want in that squared circle, the last man you want to piss off and certainly the last man you want ripping your heart out. It's a shame you walk into Aodwf like your shit don't stink, you attempt to take a few cheap shots and when its all said and done…your just a carbon copy of what we call…"Wannabe". You're a wannabe clone, a hoax, a fake, a cheap imitation boring the hell out of nations. You are not even the next best thing or even close to being like me.
Up and coming superstar? Future World Champion? Excuse me as I laugh my ass off, that has to be the funniest thing you said out of your whole entire promo. News flash, headline…muthafuckin' reality check…You drew me in the first round. You are definitely in line to get buried six feet deep dead or alive. You have basically laid the opportunity to dig yourself a hole all the way to China. I am the career killa, the post, the pillar, the foundation, the cornerstone, the atom of the molecule holding any federation together. I am the one and only Italian Stallion. And can we not forget GOD? What part of "your fucked" don't you understand? Better get that lawyer to get that "will" out cause' I am going to kill…no, slaughter you worse than body count of Nagasaki and Hiroshima combined. You stepping to me is like begging for Armageddon, just waiting to fall victim to holocaust…a dead man's got a better chance of surviving this than you.
Man, you got it ass backwards…people don't buy tickets to watch you, they buy tickets to come and kick your ass. But most importantly, they buy tockets to watch me kick your ass from turnbuckle to turnbuckle. Reason why no one has mentioned you in their promo is not out of fear, but another four-letter word… you are a SLUT or a MUFF…maybe SHIT. Maybe all three. Who gives a [mocking Jeff…] FOCK? [looks at watch…] Ten minutes are counting down…ya know I should end it. Anymore time spent on you is a tragedy and the viewer's might get annoyed and cause "Seattle" type riots. Through your mouth breathes, ass…ahh fuck it, mocking your catch phrase is like Jeff growing hair on his nutz. But, hey…ten minutes are up and you ain't on the same cloud, I'm alone at the top…still the J to the L, and cuttin' promo's finer than Playboy's playmate of the year.
[[The cell-phone on the night stand table rings interrupting…he picks it up and answers…]]
Antonio Montana: Hello?
Voice: Hello, my name is Jef.
Antonio Montana: Who the hell is this?
Voice: I'm here to request you to subscribe to a membership to jeff Fan club…
Antonio Montana: Suck my mothafuckin' dick…
"Jeff Fanclub" Rep. Jef: That's exactly what I had in mind, anything to get a member…
Antonio Montana: Who the hell is this? Jeff ain't got a fan club.
Jef: I do anything you want!
Antonio Montana: I got a very bad connection…I can't hear anything you are saying…CAN --- HEAR -- NOW? Damn Verizon wireless phone…oops.
[[Montana starts tapping his phone and blowing into it and then hangs up…as he has a disgusted look…The phone rings again…The camera then fades to black…]]
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