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Date Posted: 14:27:36 03/19/05 Sat
Author: Raphaela
Author Host/IP: dsl-80-43-180-54.access.as9105.com / 80.43.180.54
Subject: Re: Earthquake
In reply to: Michael 's message, "Earthquake" on 10:10:42 03/09/05 Wed

I agree with Rafael's comments here.

Some good imagery, which conveys strong visual images to the reader, particularly in light of such recent disasters.

Although the sparesness works, it may be worth considering developing some of the imagery further.



>EARTHQUAKE
>
>The sun rose bleak over desolate
>
>Landscape. Bled of life by awful forces
>
>From within the earth. Fractured, smashed,
>ruined.
>
>Doll buried alive. Hope is dead now!
>
>Fragments of lives spent in struggle, no more
>
>
>
>A dog scavenges. Alone. Alive. Just.
>
>Rat scampers over rubble, over heads.
>
>Eyes looking to the sun. But not seeing.
>
>Not knowing that tumbling rocks do make
>
>A noise when there is no one left to hear
>
>
>
>
>Just a little ditty wot I wrote sum time ago.

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