| Subject: Re: New Poem |
Author:
Ad
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Date Posted: 11:31:09 09/26/03 Fri
Author Host/IP: NoHost/12.41.194.121
In reply to:
Jim
's message, "New Poem" on 19:13:46 09/24/03 Wed
>PRAHA
The title is in what language?
>
>The walls at which I stare,
Don't stare at walls, it's bad for your eyesight.
>gaze back yet empty and bare.
Hmm.. walls can't really gaze now can they?
>Jasmine scent swirls serene,
It's a scent, of course it's serene; I don't know about the swirling though.
>pondering silently where one has been.
Now pondering things is good.
>In a room as such I now abide,
Woh, too much Yoda speak for me in that line.
>a beauty beyond beauties laid by my side.
She must be something, you're a lucky guy if she inspires you to write lines like this...
>The flickering flame once did tease,
Hey! Flick this!
>caressing the jewel I wished to please.
K, a dedrophiliac is a treehugger... what's a jewelhugger called?
>Cold chills foretold the dark of night,
Looking outside fortells the dark of night too.
>yet deep in solace, a warm delight.
Warm apple crisp's a warm delight.
>A sparking stimulation of that of fire,
Wonderful use of alliteration.
>unimaginable sensation of utmost desire.
If you can't imagine it, how could you have felt it?
>Do silence the candle and cloud the gleam,
Candles don't speak and no one should cloud a gleam.
>in hopes you dwell as though I dream.
Hopes, dreams, and metaphores. You are really good Jim. I just had to poke a little fun at the poem, hope you don't mind.
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