Re: Frustrated Nanny -- Nannies Forum

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Subject:

Re: Frustrated Nanny

Author:
CambridgeMaNanny

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Date Posted: 13:25:34 10/28/04 Thu

Okay this is very long but I thought my story may help---

I have to start of by saying that I understand your fustration. I started my first nanny job right out of highschool and had no idea what I was getting into and what to ask for. I was a live-in with my own apartment on the top floor. I had to pay rent for living there ($1250/month) which may seem high and it is but I was living in Boston. I was then making $12/hr to care for triplet girls full time (at least 50 hr a week). I ended up staying with them for 3 years (1yo - 3yrs old). I can not beleive looking back what I put up with. I would do some many things that a nanny should not have to do (ie polish her silverware!) After 3 yrs I gave my notice and everything was okay with that. They went down to there beach house for the summer when the new nanny started. I was in the process of moving out when the mother called and asked me to come back (including putting all 3 crying girls on the phone begging me). The nanny they hired was not working out at all. My heart strings were pulled and I went back. I signed on temp till they found a better match for a nanny. I stayed till things started to go very wrong. The mother started to turn on me and made life living hell. Whenever I said no to something the mother would say yes. The girls ended up eating dessert type food every night for dinner for a month straight. The girls did not like how I would make them eat two more bites of vegetables before icecream. The mother told me to give them sweets even if they don't finish dinner. If I didn't they would have eating disorders because they were being forced to eat! Who didn't grow up having to eat two more bites before icecream??!! The mother was getting very jealous of my relationship with her children. They would call me mommy often by mistake. I would always tell them that would make their mom sad but it would just slip with them. They even asked me one day to be their mommy. I ended up giving them a 8 week notice and the mother freaked out and told me to leave asap. They were supposed to be looking for another nanny and were not. She had this idea that I would grow old with them! I can't even count the times she told me how cushy my job was! I had one week to move out of an apartment I had lived in for the last 4 years! She has banded me from seeing her children! I saw them for a brief moment as I pulled my Uhaul out of the driveway. I quickly told them that I loved them and it was not there fault that I was leaving. I could hear the mother downstairs telling them that I was not there because they were bad!

Fast forward to a year later:
I really liked being a nanny (minus the parents lol) and wanted to look into finding a new position. I had a really hard time because I did not have a reference from my past 4 yrs. I ended up finding a family that was okay with giving me a chance. I have been at this new job for 3 months and I am so happy. I work for the nicest couple and there 6 month old girl, Molly. I get $14 an hour. They pay me 30 hrs taxed and the other 10 untaxed cash Mon - Thur. I then work 4-5 hours for them (cash) on Fridays. They give my 5 paid sick days, 2 weeks paid vacation (at anytime) and pay me when I vacation with them. I went to Nantucket with them and it was so fun. They flew me down ($300 40 min flight) instead of putting me on a 2 hr ferry they took. They then gave me alot of time off but still paid me for physically being there on the island! They even bought me a thank you gift for coming with them! They also give me between $30-40/week for food. If they come home early they still pay me for the rest of my planned shift. I am always leaving an hour early. If they don't need me one day for some reason they still pay me as though I was there.

GOOD JOBS are out there. I am so happy and put so much effort into the care of the baby I watch. I enjoy coming to work every morning!

You really should sit down with them with facts. The projected cost for gas per week. Maybe with receipts from the past week to show them. Then go onto nanny sites and print out nanny job profiles. They should have lists of what a nanny is expected to do and what a family should offer. If you have the experince you mentioned in your posting you may even want to look for a new job. Before you sit down with them you need to take into consideration the worst. When I gave my notice I knew that I may be asked to leave right then. I did not think it would happen but I was prepared for it to and it did! I think the job I have now is not possible in alot of situations but the nice people are out there. I do not regret the time I spent with my first family because I made a difference in the childrens lives and I grew alot during the yrs I was there. I did miss out on alot though. I am now still trying to get out of debt from the first job. When the girls went to school my hours went down to about 20 hrs a week. I was paying them rent and was not making anything the last few months. I could not get another job because they had me on call. I want to go to school but I don't like the idea of more debt. The family I am with now have offered to pay for some classes.

You should also explain to them that in order for you to do the best job you need to be shown some appreciation. Explain to them that you understand budgets and are willing to work something out with them. But that you should not be expeceted to pay out of pocket for anything related to the children/job. You can explain what you are looking for resonably and if they are not able to match it you may have to leave. By doing it this way you may be able to save the relationship and help them out finding a new nanny. Being a nanny is a job and you should enjoy it. You only live once and you can't rewind! They should love their children enough to want the person caring for them to be happy.

If you had read this far power to you. I hope everything works out for the best. Also depending on where you live hourly rates vary. Boston/Cambridge rates are on the higher end because cost of living is higher and I am a live out nanny.

---Rachel

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