The Rhino's Dollar Theater Review of "The Hot Chick" -- Rhinotainment

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Date Posted: 15:27:29 03/03/03 Mon
Author: The Rhino
Subject: The Rhino's Dollar Theater Review of "The Hot Chick"

I had the weekend off. When you work in retail, there is no such thing as "Thank God It's Friday!" Friday is the day before Saturday in retail. Saturday is the day before Sunday in retail. But sometimes the planets align and a weekend falls into your lap. This weekend, the planet's were in Rhino's house.

I hadn't been to a movie in a while and the last public viewing of a movie that I attended was the travesty, "Sweet Home Alabama", on the flight to Las Vegas. I desperately wanted to see a flick, but I was low on cash. As luck would have it, my parents gave gift certificates to the local budget theater for Christmas. Hooray!

Every major city in America has a budget theater. Budget theaters show second-run movies for pennies just before they head to the video store. My local budget theater, Movies 8, shows matinee movies for 50 cents, seven days-a-week. You get what you pay for though, as the theater is a dump, the picture is always off center and the smell of stale popcorn and urine travels through the air like a stealth bomber. I have watched two filmstrips burn and break at this particular theater, including the Charlie Sheen/Emilio Estevez classic, "Men At Work." But it will suffice when you are jonesing for a movie.

Of the eight films playing there, the one that looked the most enticing was the Rob Schneider sure-to-be-moronic "The Hot Chick." I thought "what the hell" and took in a matinee with my buddy, Jimmy. I shamelessly enjoyed "Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigalow" and got burnt on "The Animal", so the chances of this one being entertaining, judging from Schneider's past work, were 50/50.

"The Hot Chick" starts out in ancient Egypt where a princess gives one of a pair of earrings to a peasant girl. The earrings hold magical powers that allows the wearer to trade identities. So when the princess and the peasant are each wearing an earring, they trade identities. Genius.

We advance to modern day, where Jessica (Rachael McAdams), the most popular bitch in her local high school, head of the cheerleading squad, queen of the world, etc., finds the earrings in a local African artifact store at the mall with her friends. She shoplifts the earrings and puts them on as soon as she leaves the store.

Later, while Jessica mistakes a man named Clive (Rob Schneider), who is robbing a gas station, as the gas station attendant. After a "comical" exchange, Jessica and her friends take off, but Jessica unknowingly loses an earring on the ground at the gas station. Clive dons the earring and, voila! They trade identities.

As expected, while under a new identity, she discovers a lot about herself, that her parents are on the verge of a divorce, her brother wants to be a girl, her best friend (the oh-so-hot Anna Farris) is falling in love with her (under the guise of a man, not in a lesbian sense) and her boyfriend doesn't just want to get in her pants, but is deeply in love with her, while she continually shuts him out. Needless to say, her life is not as perfect as she believes it to be.

Meanwhile, Clive is painting the town red in his new body and breaking every law in the book doing it. Soon, the police are after Jessica because of Clive's criminal ways. Did you get that?

Adam Sandler produces the film and has the prerequisite cameo (which reprises a decade old Saturday Night Live skit, and an unfunny one at that). With any Sandler production, if you have followed his work, there are always a number of off-beat characters. This film is no different.

As mentioned, you have the androginous brother, a half-Korean/half-black girl, Lulu (Alexandra Holden), who is ashamed of being half-Korean, her Korean mother who wants to be the Lulu's friend so bad that she acts like a stereotypical black person, a fat girl who wants to do nothing but eat, a gothic girl who's all witchy and shit...you get the idea. Throw in gay jokes, prat-falls, and general bad comedy tomfoolery and you have a trainwreck of epic proportions.

"The Hot Chick" was good for one simple fact: I didn't pay one red cent to see it. I didn't even have to buy concessions! Gift certificates covered two tickets, two large cokes, a tray of nachos and two bags of M & M's. That being the case, the afternoon wasn't a complete loss. The film itself was funny in parts and had some charm, but it was a film that I wouldn't have missed had I never bothered to see it.

That being the case, if you can see it for free, then by all means see it! If not, don't bother.

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