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Since the original, there have been three sequels. All of which were dreadfully bad. Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation even starred Matthew McConaughey and Renee Zellweger before they were stars. After seeing that film, it makes you wonder how they became the great actors they are now.
But here we have a remake of the original classic horror film. Remakes generally are a bad idea. Remaking classics is an even worse idea. Perhaps the gold is remaking a bad film if you think you can do it better, like Steven Soderbergh did with Oceans 11 or Jay Roach did with Meet the Parents. They excelled. Marcus Nispel did not with this remake.
Five young adults are trekking across the southwestern United States, on their way to see Lynyrd Skynyrd in concert in 1973. While traveling through Travis County, Texas, they nearly hit a woman wandering down the side of the road. The woman is obviously distraught and scared, so they pick her up and go in search of help. Too distraught to live, the girl pulls a gun out of her, ahem, crotch and shoots herself in the head. Chaos amongst the friends ensues.
In search of the Sherrif (all hail R. Lee Ermy), the kids end up being lured into a big, lonely house where they become victims of a chainsaw wielding psychopath known affectionately as Leatherface. Seems Face developed a skin disease as a young boy. The abuse that was thrown at him as a kid lead to a bit of a mental disorder. There was only one thing left to do: kill people, cut their faces off and wear them like a new face for yourself. Yuck. All the while, there seems to no way out of Travis County without ending up back at Leatherface's house. The Sherrif just so happens to be a family member, as is the owner of the only gas station in the general area. Calling for help is for naught.
While I didn't detest this film, it still left me wanting something more. It seemed as if it was missing something. Scariness was missing. The only time I felt intimidated as a viewer was when R. Lee Ermy was on screen. He was positively evil yet hysterically funny. A scene where he's forcing one of the kids to re-enact the girl's suicide was positively harrowing, all the while barking his trademark bark. He stole the film in it's entirety. Otherwise, the film came off as a little flat.
Leatherface didn't do much for me. He didn't scare me like the original Face did. He was actually kind of a lame rip-off. The only time the character shined was when he was prepping a body for skinning. There was one scene in particular where he hangs one of the guys on a meathook after sawing his leg off in a chase. He takes a handful of large grain salt and shoves it up into the guys stump, then wraps the stump in butcher's paper. It was a very cold and convincing scene, as he did it like it was all in a days work. No hesitation, just cold calculation.
The other actors were as good as you could expect in a horror film, nowadays. Jessica Biel played Erin, the only level-headed friend in the group. She defined "Scream Queen". Plus she is unbelievably beautiful. But again, Ermy was the only reason to see the film. He is the best at this type of roll. I certainly would never wish him to be my drill sergeant.
Another thing worth mentioning is the fact the Nispel took many liberties in this film, especially regarding Leatherface. He explains why Leatherface is the way he is (skin disease), he severly injures Face late in the film, among other instances. But perhaps the most surprising liberty was having Leatherface take off his mask halfway through the film!!! You could hear purists screaming all over the world when that happened. It was shocking. It's kind of like Michael Myers taking off the Shatner mask and putting on a Nimoy mask just for the hell of it. It removed all of the mystery behind the character. Also, in the original, the family uses their victims bodies to make chili for an annual chili cookoff. That whole aspect was deleted from the film.
Overall, I was a bit indifferent to it. Had it been an original work, it would have been a decent horror film, but not necessarily scary. Since it's a remake, it's about what I expected: A remake of a classic that doesn't come close to doing the original justice.
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