New and Improved Sonnet -- Shakespeare's Sonnets

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Date Posted: 18:24:26 03/24/03 Mon
Author: Myself
Subject: New and Improved Sonnet
In reply to: Kathryn Williams 's message, "Re: Becoming Shakespeare: Write Your Own Sonnet (LESSON 4)" on 08:32:26 03/22/03 Sat

>>After reviewing the characteristics of a sonnet,
>>compose an original Elizabethan (Shakespearean) sonnet
>>of 14 lines. Your theme may be traditional (i.e.,
>>love, nature, etc.) or contemporary, but you must use
>>the correct rhyme scheme (ababcdcdefefgg) and iambic
>>pentameter. When you are finished, post your sonnet
>>as a reply to this message. Get creative and have
>fun!
>
>Why I hate Mr. Bojangles
>
>Don't you hate those tiny, hideous dogs?
>Whose heads are all scrunched up and hair's all
>mangled,
>Whose whole bodies look like fury white logs
>Like SNL's little Mr. Bojangles
>(who despite common belief is a girl)
>Whose butt-ugly faces are monstrosities
>It's all really enough to make me hurl
>No! Not another breed!! Please, help us all! Please!
>Like I was saying before--they're all ugly
>May the have short white hair or long black hair
>Little Chihuahuas or fat and pugly
>Let's go to the zoo, we'll feed all the bears!
>It may sound evil, cruel--but it's not, it's neat n'
>We're all better off if they're chomped, chewed, and
>eaten.
>
>-Kathryn

Why I hate Mr. Bojangles

Don't you hate those tiny, repulsive dogs?
Whose heads are all scrunched up and hair's all mangled,
Some look like a fair's second prize hog
Like SNL's real creepy Mr. Bojangles
(who despite common belief is a girl)
Whose endless fat roles are more than we need
It's enough to get me sick and then hurl
No! Help us all! Please! Not another breed!!
Like I said--they're all ugly, gross, and bad
Fat, thin: the worse is long and curly hair
Any kind, any size (though they seem to come small)
Let's go to the zoo, we'll feed all the bears!
It may sound evil, cruel--but it's neat n'
We're all well off if they're chomped, chewed, and eaten.

-Kathryn

P.S. some of the syllable counts won't come out right (lines 2, 4, 14), I just used a "feminine ending," which you can't take off for because I actually know what it means.

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