Re: Becoming Shakespeare: Write Your Own Sonnet (LESSON 4) -- Shakespeare's Sonnets

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Date Posted: 11:48:12 03/19/03 Wed
Author: Kathryn Williams
Subject: Re: Becoming Shakespeare: Write Your Own Sonnet (LESSON 4)
In reply to: Rachael Morris 's message, "Re: Becoming Shakespeare: Write Your Own Sonnet (LESSON 4)" on 22:27:23 03/16/03 Sun

>>After reviewing the characteristics of a sonnet,
>>compose an original Elizabethan (Shakespearean) sonnet
>>of 14 lines. Your theme may be traditional (i.e.,
>>love, nature, etc.) or contemporary, but you must use
>>the correct rhyme scheme (ababcdcdefefgg) and iambic
>>pentameter. When you are finished, post your sonnet
>>as a reply to this message. Get creative and have
>fun!
>
>Thy black eyes are dark as the darkest night.
>Thy lips are as if they are of blood red.
>Thy face looks so stricken with manic fright.
>Thy eyes are so sad without a tear shed.
>No matter what thou face may have to show,
>If there is not one thing to be spoken,
>Then there is nothing from one to be known.
>A beauteous face is a great token,
>Though if there is something there is to hide,
>A way to open without thine heart�s key,
>It shall be hard to unlock what�s inside.
>For thee allows merely one who may see.
>If that one is only to be thyself,
>Then there is none to share thine loving wealth.

It's a little stiff at the begining, but it definitely picks up towards the end, where all the lines seem to flow together smoothly (especially the last two). You have pretty good iambic pentameter--almost no slips. Rhyme scheme is perfect, except for the fact that you used the word beautious (I really have to disagree with that one, even if it did fill out all your syllables for the line. Other than that, I think it's ok, but the begining brings it down a little.

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Re: Becoming Shakespeare: Write Your Own Sonnet (LESSON 4) -- Gina Dacquisto, 18:38:05 03/19/03 Wed