Subject:  NHLers in crisis!!! LOL |
Author:
Buffy
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Date Posted: 20:22:09 07/21/04 Wed
Since September 11, 2001, Americans and Canadians have come together as
never before in our generation. We have banded together to overcome
tremendous adversity. We have weathered direct attacks on our own soil,
wars overseas, corporate/government scandal, layoffs, unemployment, stock
price plunges, droughts, fires, mad cow, SARS, high gasoline prices, and a
myriad of economic and physical disasters both great and small. But now, we
must come together once again to overcome our greatest challenge yet.
Hundreds of Professional Hockey players in our very own nation are going
to be locked out, living at well below the seven-figure salary level. And
as if that weren't bad enough they could be deprived of their life giving
pay
for several months, possibly longer, as a result of the upcoming lockout
situation. But you can help!
For only $20,835 a month, about $694.50 a day (that's less than the cost
of a large screen projection TV) you can help an NHL player remain
economically viable during his time of need. This contribution by no means
solves the
problem as it barely covers the annual minimum salary, but it's a start,
and every little bit will help!
Although $700 may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a hockey
player it could mean the difference between spending the lockout golfing in
Florida or on a Mediterranean cruise. For you, seven hundred dollars is
nothing more than a month's rent, half a mortgage payment, or a month of medical
insurance, but to a hockey player, $700 will partially replace his daily
salary.
Your commitment of less than $700 a day will enable a player to buy that
home entertainment center, trade in the year-old Lexus for a new
Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio.
HOW WILL I KNOW I'M HELPING?
Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the player
you sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, T-4s, real
estate, and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home. Plus,
upon
signing up for this program, you will receive an unsigned photo of the
player lounging during the lockout on a beach somewhere in the Caribbean
(for a signed photo, please include an additional $150). Put the photo
on your refrigerator to remind you of other peoples' suffering.
HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING?
Your NHL player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just wants
to help in a time of need. Although the player won't know your name, he
will be able to make collect calls to your home via a special operator in
case
additional funds are needed for unforeseen expenses.
YES, I WANT TO HELP!
I would like to sponsor a locked out NHL player. My preference is (check
below):
[ ] Forward [ ] Defenseman [ ] Goaltender [ ] Entire team
(Please call our 900 number to ask for the cost of a specific team - $10
per minute)
[ ] Jaromir Jagr (Higher cost: $32,000 per day)
Please charge the account listed below $694.50 per day for the duration
of the lockout. Please send me a picture of the player I have sponsored,
along with an Jaromir Jagr 2001 Income Statement and my very own Bob
Goodenow
(Executive Director of the NHLPA player's Union) pin to wear proudly on
my hat (include $80 for hat).
Your Name: ________Telephone Number: ________Account Number:
_______Exp.Date:_______
[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Other
Signature: _______________________
Alternate card (when the primary card exceeds its credit limit):
Account Number: _______________________ Exp.Date:_______
[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Other
Signature: _______________________
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