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Date Posted: 02:05:20 01/22/03 Wed
Author: 文津
Subject: Re: 天仙子(修改,犯了兩個久字)
In reply to: 文津 's message, "天仙子("大哭"句不順口,結句太俗套,突然想到一個石破天驚的修改)" on 01:31:13 01/22/03 Wed

>>曾記唱遊輕拍手
>>小子身搖如醉酒
>>青蔥歲月不回頭
>>操場走
>>抬望首
>>雲似星空魔獸否
>>
>>春日郊遊風拂柳
>>蟲咬哭聲難忍受
>>戲言老屋是幽冥
>>牆壞朽
>>窗簾後
>>竟有人家長住久

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  • 其實整首都俗套 (NT) -- 失望, 05:48:22 01/22/03 Wed
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