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] Date Posted:16:04:59 12/29/07 Sat
I'm desperate...I can't find any reason to go on living.
I had an abortion last year because I've been suffering from eating disorders for 6 years and I couldn't even understand what was happening to me...I remember I didn't think...I didn't understand...I only felt my body growing and I couldn't stand it because of my disorders.
After the abortion, I understood the gravity of my mistake...I understood the importance of life...but now my life has no sense.
I lost everything.
I'm fat, without my aunt (she died 6 years ago and from then on the hell began)...without my baby, the gift God sent me despite all the mistakes I had done.
Oh my God...I just want to die...and go to see my aunt and my baby...
ps:sorry for my awful English...I'm Italian...
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I'm sorry for your loss. I know loosing dear ones is very hard. Abortion adds a different element to loss, and it effects women in different ways, but it's still a very hard loss. There are places that help you get through this - here's a link to a page with many more sites for you to visit:
It's important that you try to understand your grief and work through it. There are "stages" a person goes through in grief, and we can get stuck in one of the stages, which isn't good.
You can recover from this, you can feel better about life. Please hang in there, I'm certain God has a reason for you being here and for what you are going through.
Life is not easy, but it's worth it - so hang on and keep reaching out.
Date Posted:00:03:56 01/14/08 Mon
hi anny.
i understand what you are feeling. i had an abortion almost 8 years ago. at the time, i knew i wanted to have the baby, but the father did not. he was not with me at all during the process, and yet i still thought about his feelings more than mine and went through with the it. there is nothing more that i regret to this day. my message to you is that you did what you felt was right at the time. no one judges you and i hope you will not feel alone. i dont even know you, and the fact that you are being so open about this is giving me strength, and i hope i can provide the same for you. as we get older, we realize what you couldve done differently...but there is no point in dwelling in the past. this is something that may never get easier, but at the same time...please forgive yourself for this choice. its not your fault, and i'm sure your aunt is taking care of your baby. its not your time to even think about death. i care about you and thank you for your story. things will only get better if you let it. i will pray for you tonight anny. my best to you always...*ann.
