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Subject: Alone Author: Bronwen [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 01:29:53 02/23/04 Mon I just recently had an abortion (three weeks ago) and this is the first time I've talked about it, so I don't know how much sense I can make here. I currently live in Japan and don't have anyone to talk to. My boyfriend lives here too but I think that he is the source of my pain, so I can't talk to him. Also he just seems more upset about me not wanting to have sex with him. I feel like an emotional mess, and I feel like I deserve it. I don't even know how the procedure happened, one minute I was looking at my baby on a monitor at the hospital, the next minute I was waking up from the anesthesia screeming in the hospital, on the same day. I don't feel like I was ever in the right mind to make the decision. That day I was too nervous about the fact that I couldn't communicate with anyone (I don't speak Japanese), and they were going to do surgery on me. It was all very confusing. Anyway, I've been bottling this up, and I have so much I want to cry out. Just writing here has helped I hope. I know I made a big mistake, and I did it because my boyfriend wanted me to. All I feel now is grief, anger, sadness and confusion. [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> Subject: Re: Alone Author: jenni [Edit] Date Posted: 19:08:04 02/23/04 Mon Bronwen, I am so sorry about your loss! Does your boyfriend understand how much you've been hurt? Many people have this idea that abortion will be able to turn back the clock to time, they don't realise that a woman's life changes the second she gets pregnant, not when she gives birth. Whether or not the pregnancy ends in birth or abortion, the woman's life changes either way. Guys have a harder time understanding the loss because it wasn't their body that was violated, and they didn't bond with their child like we do. If he's being a jerk about it, it may be that he's feeling bad himself and feels guilty for your suffering. But the best thing to do is to talk about it... don't bottle it all up. You'll never heal if you try supressing your feelings. You need to grieve...give yourself some time. Try talking with your boyfriend... it may be that you'll keep suffering until your boyfriend validates your sorrow by accepting who you both lost. It's weird how things work. There is also a lot of women who have had abortions who are reaching out to those you are in need of grief support. www.silentnomoreawareness.com or www.projectrachel.net are just a few. We are here for you! You are not alone. Over 30% of women abort to satisfy someone else... it's so sad. I can imagine how horrible it was to wake up afterwards. I wish I could take away some of your pain. I'll pray that God gives you peace in your heart... :), Jenni

[> [> Subject: Re: Alone Author: Vickie [Edit] Date Posted: 14:49:42 03/01/04 Mon Hi, I certainly know the pain you are feeling, and knowt that you are not alone. It may take time, but healing is possible, and some words of encouragment.. you won't always feels so overwhelmed. God is good and he will and wants to take away your pain. We are here for you Talk to us Vickie

[> [> Subject: Safehaven website Author: Diane Cheryl [Edit] Date Posted: 02:48:03 02/26/04 Thu I did search and found the website Safehaven. It's http://www.Safehavenministries.com