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Subject: Re: Someone Help Me Cope With This Pain Author: Jane [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 00:55:28 12/08/04 Wed In reply to: Amber 's message, "Someone Help Me Cope With This Pain" on 12:41:25 11/24/04 Wed Oh, Amber, sweetheart, I am soo sorry for the pain you are in. If you are crying over your baby, know that I am crying with you. I am so sad that someone with so much life ahead of her, is in so much pain. I believe that you will be re-united with your baby someday. But not quite how you think. Not until you have had a long, and happier life on this earth. I pray that you will know this baby in heaven one day. But now there is today! Please, don't suffer alone, Amber. There are other women who have been through this. (at least one other post had a name of a group; and a Christian crisis pregnancy center can get you linked up, too.) I know you probably can't find it in your heart to forgive yourself right now. But let someone lead you to a God who does forgive. No one at a post-abortion group will be there to condemn. Your baby is going to need a mommy who isn't hurting, but healing, for that one day, far from now when you meet in heaven. God bless you, ((((Amber))). God loves you. --Jane [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

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[> Subject: Re: Someone Help Me Cope With This Pain Author: Christina [Edit] Date Posted: 22:11:38 12/08/04 Wed Amber, I lost my child through a forced abortion 3 years ago when I was 22. I've read many stories online about recovering from abortion and have researched abortion until the wee hours of the morning-all the things I should have done before I made the appointment that day. The one thing about your story that got me was- "I write apologies to my child on my stomach in pen. When I wake up in the morning I am covered in ink because I keep my hands over my stomach. I guess I dream about being pregnant. " I used to take a black marker and write things on my stomach and I later progressed to the walls of my bedroom. "I'm sorry and "i am nothing but an empty space where she once stirred" covered my walls and my stomach. I then started cutting myself and burning myself, but only on my stomach. I hated that part of my body and even now 3 years later I still pull out the marker and write messages for my child. The pain doesn't go away it just lessens with time. people will tell you to forgive yourself and move on but you can never really move on. You will be fine for a while and then you will hear or smell something that will bring you back to that day and you'll be back at square one. I find myself on the floor of my bathroom smoking and drinking with the door locked listening to music trying to get control of myself so that i can open the door and pretend like everything is OK. people don't want to hear about how you are devastated about killing your child unless they have done it themselves. my advise to you is to go here - http://thesiclecell.blogspot.com/ Christina