| Subject: Re: A Man's Trauma |
Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 22:23:57 02/21/05 Mon
In reply to:
Andrew
's message, "A Man's Trauma" on 08:43:19 01/30/05 Sun
Hi, Andrew,
Kris said so many wonderful things to you. I hope they are helpful.
I would like to make some suggestions about the future.
First of all, I would urge you to discover the God of the Bible. You don't have to go to a Catholic church, but please read the Bible (especially the Psalms, because they can be very comforting), and learn about God, and see if you can approach Him with your heart. I personally like Catholic churches for one reason, and that is they have a very good way of showing the majesty of God. But right now, you need to know about God's lovingkindness. In the Bible, it talks about Paul, the apostle. Paul originally was a murderer of Christians (as you probably well know). But God reached out to him in a special way, and Paul became the Apostle to the Gentiles. If God is willing to do that for Paul, He is willing to do it for you. Remember, Jesus died for your sin, and His forgiveness is freely available.
Secondly, Kris is right: you do need to grieve, and lighting a candle is a good act to do for this purpose. Some other things people have done that help are naming the baby, making a memorial page for him or her, and telling their story to others.
Thirdly, I think you feel the need to do something positive to help spare others the pain you have gone through. Telling your story to others is helpful. You can do this to people you know, and through the internet. Also, there are probably other men who are hurting like you. It will be hard to find them, because men don't talk about such experiences readily as a general rule. But there is such a need for a place for men. Urge your local crisis pregnancy agency to start a program for men if they do not have one. And speak out about the need for men to have the right to protect their babies. Let people know that young folks aren't receiving enough information to make a good decision. People need to know beforehand, before it is too late. What you choose to do to honor your child is up to you, but please consider doing something; it will help you in the grieving process.
We will be here for you. Please feel free to come back any time you need to talk.
Take care,
Pat
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