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Subject: Just began the struggle!


Author:
courtney
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Date Posted: 21:13:48 03/10/05 Thu
 I had an abortion 6 days ago, and I am having a Very hard time dealing with it! I want to go back, I want it back! I have been overcome with depression and lonliness I am 17 and living on my own, my boyfriend and I are still together but he doesnt really understand what i am going through, it hurts so deep I feel like they took my soul out and now I want it back!! sometimes I forget and I think about how cute and precious my baby will or would have been! I want to hold it so bad.. and I know that because of what I have done i wont ever get to know my own child my own creation!! And the worst thing about it is that I KNOW I cant take it back!! I felt that i should listen to everyone and do the SMART thing, but now I wish I would have listened to MY HEART!! I wanted my baby, even though it would have been hard to do alone I was ready to do it, and I will never forgive myself for doing what I have done!! Please help I feel so lost and alone!!
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Replies:
[> Subject: Re: Just began the struggle!


Author:
Kris
[Edit]
Date Posted: 22:16:01 03/10/05 Thu
Dear Courtney,

I'm so sorry you are hurting so much. I was 17 when I ended up pregnant - and I was so scared. I had a miscarriage (I'm sure from all the stress of it all) and I was so sad and grieved for my loss, but no one else could understand it. Those around me who knew were more like, "Boy, did you get off easy!" It sure didn't feel easy - it was like I should be relieved, but I wasn't.

Anyhow, I relate a little bit, but I know not completely. I have worked in a CPC and know that they hold free post abortion counseling sessions and I really encourage you to look into it. It will really help you to deal with your grief and hurt. Look in the phone book under Abortion Alternatives and there should be a listing for CareNet or Crisis Pregnancy Center - something like that and call them - the ladies there are always really compassionate and helpful.

You can also read some stuff here:

http://www.safehavenministries.com/

I haven't looked deeply into that website, but from what I have seen, I'm hoping it will be of help to you.

I have had several friends that have had abortions and the ones that get some counseling do much better than those that don't.

You can email me privately if you'd like to "talk" -

Love, Kris

[> Subject: Re: Just began the struggle!


Author:
lisa
[Edit]
Date Posted: 20:45:54 03/21/05 Mon
i had one a little over a year ago and i'm 25 yrs old... and it was the hardest time in my life.... i still remember the entire procedure from the time i went into the hospital until the time i left.... just wanted to let you know your not alone and if i could go back and change it i wouldn't have done it either.... if i get another chance i won't take it for granted. i have dreams about it still and i knew when i went in i dind't want to do it , but i did because i didn't know what else to do. I didn't tell my parents or anything.... so i felt all alone in my decision to keep the baby... but if i get the chance again i am not going to worry about anybody else because in the end it is us who have to deal with that decision for the rest of our lives while the boyfriends we had when this happened probably won't be in our lives anyway.... so i know exactly how you feel :)
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