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Subject: Please help mother of child is suffering Author: Jason [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 01:41:05 05/26/05 Thu Hello i am a very concerned caring father of a 22 month old girl. The mother of my child lied to me about being on the pill and used my current child to Replace the child she aborted from another man only 9 months before we met. everytime i tried to use protection when we had sex she would freak out and or try and remove or damage the protection (to set me up) after my child was born her mother freaked out and allowed me to do nothing. I have been doing research on post abortion stress syndrome and can relate every symptom to things she has done and keeps doing. I am trying to get custody of my daughter in court and need help getting someone to realize this is her problem and get her help to save my child from being "replacement baby" in her mothers eyes. I know this syndrome will affect my child in the future and also know it affects how she cares for my child but no one seems to think it does. please help. i live in milwaukee wisconsin and need a fathres group to talk to and stop this madness. I refuse to be viewed as a poor father statistic. [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

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[> Subject: Re: Please help mother of child is suffering Author: Elizabeth [Edit] Date Posted: 00:47:59 05/28/05 Sat Dear Jason, It's good that you recognize the post-abortion trauma syndrome. You can help protect your daughter from some of the effects of it just by knowing that it is a factor in the way that her mother raises her. You can be a buffer and provide some guidance no matter who has custody. There seem to be some resourses listed here: http://www.wisconsinfathers.org/links.htm I don't know how helpful they might be, but look around and you might find a mentor to help you with the process. Have you tried to get the mother into counseling? That seems to be the best way to protect your daughter from the post-abortion trauma syndrome, even if you are the one who gets custody. If you do get custody, she may try yet again to have a baby that she doesn't abort. She may be driven to this, compulsively... she wants to go back and do it "right." Helping her to understand that she can never do that would be the kindest way to help her heal. Don't allow her to suffer in her illusions. She can have real peace and real healing. If you love the baby, take care of her mother, even if you get custody. And if you do get custody, don't use it as a weapon against her, even though it sure looks like that's what she's doing to you. That can only harm the child. They pick up on so much more than you think they can, unfortunately. Good luck and God bless you. Please post back and let us know how it's going? Love, Elizabeth