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Subject: I feel so alone and discarded


Author:
Christine
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Date Posted: 21:23:35 01/22/07 Mon
 i had an abortion on the 12th jan 2007 the day be4 my 23rd birthday. i already have 2 kids and i thought i had alot of friends i have always been there through everything for them all but no one rings me no one asks if i'm ok i try to talk to my boyfriend and the only answer i get is "don't worry about it" how can i not. i am plagued by guilt and depression and nightmares. i feel alone and used i keep a brave face on for my kids but when i'm alone i cry. Why doesnt no one care why won't no one help me i feel i screaming some one please i'm not alright but no one is listening.
I thought i was strong i thought i knew what i was doing but you really don't till u have been through it
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Replies:
[> Subject: Re: I feel so alone and discarded


Author:
Kris
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Date Posted: 08:16:45 01/26/07 Fri
Dear Christine,

I'm so sorry for your loss and so sorry it's been difficult to find support from your friends. I can't say as to why they are absent - but my guess is that your pain is great and it's hard for them to see you that way.

It sounds like your boyfriend is burying his feelings about the matter (which is something typical of a guy). It will come back to him at some point in his life.

However, let's focus on YOU. You are hurting, and you need to find a way to heal from this. You used the phrase "rings me", which leads me to believe you live in a UK country. If you were/are in the US I would direct you to a pregnancy center through this web site:

www.optionline.org

They have many locations around the US and a majority of them offer FREE post-abortion counseling. I'm not sure where to direct you in the UK. However, you should really look in to that. I also know that the moderator here at this site will send you a FREE post abortion package, and I think you should request that.

There's one more site to visit, I think they are good and there are a lot of posts there:

www.safehavenministries.com

Finally, you have to let yourself grieve. You have suffered a loss, and any loss will set a person to grieving. It's important to let yourself grieve - and there are stages to grief, and you will go through them all - at your own pace. It's important to not get "stuck" in a stage though, so some of those stages take a little work.

http://home.att.net/~velvet-hammer/grief.html

That's another site to visit about grief and that may help.

I also believe a person needs to reconcile themselves to God. Not to get to preachy here - but we are created beings and our Creator made us in a certain fashion, so that apart from Him we are not whole or truly healthy.

http://www.actsweb.org/articles/article.php?i=2&d=1&c=1&p=1

Please take some time to read through that information as well. I hope that all helps - and I'm so glad you found us here and posted. You will remain in my prayers.

Kris

[> Subject: Re: I feel so alone and discarded


Author:
Maria
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Date Posted: 22:33:58 03/04/07 Sun
Hi Christine
I know how you feel. I had an abortion 2 years now and often I feel so very alone. At first, my boyfriend (the father) told me too to forget it and move on. But that was all he knew what to do. I felt myself spinning in a whirlpool of depression and nothing would make me better. Today, I'm working through it. I read a really amazing book about 6 months ago called "Forbidden Grief" by Burke and Reardon. I asked my boyfriend to read it and his attitude has completely changed. He now realises that what he said was wrong and insensitive and he is doing he utmost to help me. He said that he didn't know how to deal it with it himself and felt that brushing it under the carpet would help, but it didn't, it made things worse. If you can ask your boyfriend to read this book, it truely helped me, my boyfriend and our relationship for the better and now instead of battling this alone, I have him to help. It makes such a difference not to suffer it alone.
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