| Subject: Gimli goes to war |
Author:
Gimli
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Date Posted: 18:37:19 02/09/03 Sun
As Gimli exited the building, the last few pillars fell down.
Gimli heard distinct cries of pain, as the remaining staff found themselves buried under lots of rubble (apart from meat counter and deli....which definetly were not crushed...oh, and the pattiserie too, because i like cake)
Aragorn and Evilgrinch slowly backed away from Gimli as he walked towards them.
Aragorn: What did you go and do this time Gimli?
Gimli: It wasn't my fault...
Evilgrinch: Yeah....right....we believe you.
Gimli: Seriously, I had nothing to do with this.
Aragorn: Well isn't it coincidence that you seem to be the only person who has walked out of this building alive. We are going to have to go to Sommerfield to buy food from now on...meanwhile, we noticed something dodgy down on Yateley School field.
Gimli: Such as?
Aragorn: I think you better see for yourself, you won't be pleased...Its not good...
Aragorn and Evilgrinch led Gimli to Yateley school field, where he was shocked and appalled to discover that his worst nightmare had come true.
Standing in the field, armed with various weaponry stood 1000 cloned Jan's, 1000 cloned Legolas', 1000 cloned Ron Weasley's and worst of all....1000 cloned Hayden Christensen's.
Gimli promptly wet himself, before bursting into noisy tears.
Evilgrinch: Shall I say it, or do one of you guys want to say it?
Aragorn: I'll say it....We're fu**ed.
The 4000 strong-army, turned to face the three terrified characters.
Gimli: I am confident we can take them.
Aragorn: Ditto....good luck.
Aragorn, Gimli and Evilgrinch charged towards the giant army...who inturn, charged towards Gimli et al.
You would think in this kind of situation that Gimli, Evilgrinch and Aragorn were as good as dead...but thats not true. Numbers aside, none of their adversaries had any talent at anything...apart from being extremely irritating.
As the two rivalling groups met, there was little competiton. Gimli's lightsabre sliced through dozens of Legolas like cheese-wire. Aragorn meanwhile was throughly enjoying hacking Jans and Ron Weasleys apart. The death count for the opposition was in the thousands in a matter of minutes...and after 1 hour, Evilgrinch destroyed the last Hayden Christensen with a kick to the groin.
Near the battles end, David Camp + other waitrose employees showed up Beorn style, and helped Gimli beat the living crap out of the last few Rons. Eventually, they stood atop a mountain of corpses, as with one last swing, Gimli took off the last Legolas' head.
Gimli sighed, and put his weapon away. They had made quite a mess of the school field, and it looked as if sports day was off this year.
As the surviving characters climbed their way down the mountain of bodies, carefully using ripped up pieces of Ron Weasley for footholds...Mr.Sarrell casually strolled by and stopped abruptly at the foot of the mountain.
Mr.Sarrell: What have you done to my field!!!
Gimli winked at Evilgrinch, it was time to dispose of another authority figure. Evilgrinch pulled his wand out, and used magic to turn Mr.Sarell into a duck.
Evilgrinch: Anybody want some pancakes?
TO BE CONTINUED...
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