| Subject: CONFUSED AND DON'T KNOW HOW TO RESPOND; PLEASE HELP |
Author:
Angela McCarver
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Date Posted: 10:27:36 10/19/02 Sat
I am new to this site and there is a circumstance that I feel that I do not have anyone to turn to. Regardless if this is the right discussion forum for me to post it in or not, please hear me out anyway. I have had a rough childhood; abuse, neglect, etc.
I was a student at a high school of the name of Central High School in Raytown, Missouri. I was adopted at age 15. She was very rude and used me for money. I did not like that at all. It was very sickening. I had money that came in the mail for me through the government and she gets her hands on it before I can even touch it. She threatned to kill me and hits me and everything. She was very volatile towards me and the other children in the house hold. She had a boyfriend and she would come up with these farfetched things about me and him that I stopped asking him for help on my homework. So I endured her disrespect for 3 years. And when I turned 18. I decided to get a job at a public library. I also went to school in my senior year. And I met this teacher who was new to the school district and he taught Spanish. We talked and talked during orientation. I met him on my birthday, which was August 20th 2001. I talked about how eager I was to go to college and continue my education. The school year started 8/27/01. He talked to this teacher who also taught Spanish. She was so mean and nasty and had hygiene problems (hair not taken care of, menstration smells, etc). The students did not have any respect for her. He used to take her home everyday, and she was just as nasty and mean to us. She was a black bigot, also. She talked about how the students' mother shouldn't have produced them and how they should be exterminated in gas chamber and facetous things like that.
But on the weekends me and the Spanish teacher that I talk to had always met at the job on the weekends to help me with scholarships. Then I would thank him and he went on home. I also had an additional job on the school grounds as a bus monitor. So I had to get up extra early in the morning, and walk to school. The male Spanish teacher would always invite me into his classroom to put my head down and get a little rest until it was time for me to go outside and monitor the bus arrivials. When it was raining, he offered me an umbrella and told me that I can keep it. He wsa so sweet and nice to me. He gave me money if I needed it.
But on September 25th 2001, two weeks after the terrorist attack, my adopted mother kicked me out of her home because she did not get any money for me in the mail and the little money I was making at my job she tried to swindle me out of it as well and I refused to give in, so she threw me out. So I stayed with my coussin and her family. I got along with ber family real good without any problem. I got my hair permed and everything. I was just experiencing being my own woman. Me and my cousin would always woman to woman talks when I wasn't able to get to sleep at night. We would laugh and joke about things. So this Spanish helped me transfer my money to a new bank and everything. He paid for my deposit to start the bank acct. He took me every pay day to deposit my check. I would stay after school with him and he would take me to work and he would be there late at night to take me back to my cousin's house. I finally confided in him one day that my mother kicked me out and how she treated me. He stated, "I would let you stay with me, but that would be crossing student/teacher relationship." He helped me call shelters. I told him that I am doing fine with my cousin to tell the truth.
A week later he asked me, "Would you object if you were in my custody?" I told him to give me a while to think about that. He took that female mean and nasty Spanish teacher home and when he dropped me off, he asked me the same question. And I told him that I would not object. He claimed he wanted a teenage daughter. He wanted to do an adult adoption. He was 52 and I was 18 at the time.
So I decided to trust him and that female teacher
told the principal and tried to get him fired. So they argued and argued and he decided to stop taking her home. He told me that I am just as important as she was. We lived together and he started making sexual advances at me and things ended up leading to another. (Kissing on the stomach, breast, tongue action sexual encounters etc). He adopted me in February. He told me that it was symbolic, meaning that we are pretending like we are father and daughter so no one would suspect anything else. But back in November, I had to switch school districts. It feels more like a marriage than an adoption. He treats me more of a girlfriend than a daughter. He kept on saying that we are father and daughter, but he kisses me in an undaughterly manner (on the neck, tongue action, etc). I am confused about this. Can't you readers tell that I am so far?
He acts like he did not want to be bother at night anymore, but he gets real jealous when I talk about another man who likes me, and he tries to act like a boyfriend. It is so wierd. He keeps on claiming that he would be crazy to marry a 18 yr. old woman but yet he thinks of me as his wife and girlfriend.
But anyways, the school he met me from was spreading rumors, saying that I am this teacher's girlfriend and that I am his wife, and he came home and told me one day that someone said that I was bragging and saying that I was 'shacking up with him.' And I did not, but I do not know if he really believes me. So he suggested that I should not go to that school anymore to visit my friends at anytime. I felt really bad about it. I am now attending college. But the problem is that the principal did not renew his teaching license becuase of this, so I feel like I am at fault, and now he is currently interviewing at a Catholic School to see if he can get a job in music. BTW , I forgot to mention that he majors in music and his minor is Foreign Language (Spanish. Now it seems like we cannot get along as good as we did anymore. I feel funny about this. He is diabetic. The problem is that he acts loke he does not want to be around me as much anymore for the past few months, every since the adoption went through. I asked him last month, "Why have you been acting like you don't want to be around me?" He said, "Do you want to be here? Do you want to be my daughter, becuase I feel like you don't want to be my daughter anymore." I COULD HALFWAY BELIEVE AND NOT BELIEVE THAT HE SAID THAT when he started making the sexual advances on me first. I am definitely confused about that. I wanted to know if you think that he is willing to be a father and I am not quite picking it up as well as I should or what? Should I follow along with him? Tell me.
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