What should I do?! -- Smap Express Forum

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Date Posted: 15:42:44 01/16/01 Tue
Author: Broken in TWO!
Subject: What should I do?!

I've been married for 3 yrs and has been with guy for 8 yrs. Now here's our situation; in the past I have done some stupid things to jepordize our relationship as bfriend/gfriend and he can't deny that he also has done some odd off things as well. Now we are married with two children and yet I have honestly/truthfully (God as my witness) took my vows' in with a Faithful heart looking past situations prior to our wedding! But I guess my (supposed) better half didn't think to heavy on that...His mind was still in the gutter about what happened in the past. So much has been said and done (Lies, affairs, etc...) not on my part)in our lives but that no longer matters to me because I love my two children and that's all that matters to me...So regardless of my downfall in life. I know that God will help me, protect me, and most of all guide my path straight. It doesn't go without notice that I'm hurting inside..I know in due time my broken heart will mend and I have no problem with that it's just while the healing process is in progress so will have to deal with all the bullshit (being stabbed in the back by family)as well! I can't come off like if I am perfect...NO I have done some damage to ruin my family...and family name! I can't take back the hurt..embarassment..shame..but what I can try to do is make it better.. What am I to do with my Fucked up life??! I only want a better life for my daughter and son and that's the ONLY thing that matters to me NOW! Christ is first in my life..parents..my kids n' all but I still need help! I feel soooo lost sometimes that when I reach out for help noone is to be found! and it really SUCKs..Major!

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