Devastation -- A White Hot Forum

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Subject: Devastation

Author:
Cassie

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Date Posted: 23:53:48 09/14/01 Fri

How much I appreciate what each of you have said here. Your truth is always appropriate and welcome on this forum. No matter what it is. This is a good place to express it and share that expression, which is such a necessary thing, if mutuality be viable at all. And then others are equally welcome to speak their reactions and wherever that leads...only so long as we do not end up in a place of non-mutuality where I can no longer allow your truth its space. Then it is time for me to retire and ponder my own wounds...time to feel what is so hard for me to feel...and take as much time for myself as necessary.

What I feel today is simply devastation. I notice that it's not personal at all. The phrase that comes to me is that I AM the rent in the fabric of humanity. That is the space I occupy, the place that is split, the parts that can't feel, the dissociative tendencies, the polarizing tendencies, the rip itself. Abiding here as I have been since last Tuesday, I have all along subtlely been making myself wrong. And thinking that every time I hear another speak that they know something I don't, they can feel what I can only deny, feeling useless and broken.

Today I have come to see that i have not chosen this place, it has been chosen for my by the Being that I also am. I am here because I am the one who fits here. And you are where you are because that is where you fit. We all need to honor and be true to the place where we/Being are. Today I no longer resist this place but fall into it willingly and lovingly. This devastation is my home today.

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Replies:

Subject	Author	Date
at home in devastation	Kyla	05:14:19 09/15/01 Sat