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Subject: Hey guys look no further im the man for the job!


Author:
Cliff Richard
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Date Posted: 11:41:13 05/11/02 Sat

Hey you Crazy Campers! Cliff Richard here the god fearing, woman hating, havent had sex since i released 'Living Doll' in 56 and my balls are like coconuts superstar. I was just looking in my leather binded diary (Flash or what!!) and i noticed that my manager hasnt booked me in for any appearences on such shows as Richard & Judy or Celibacy Ready Steady Cook for at least 4 months so i was thinking maybe i could help you crazy cats out with the singing duties until i reserect my failing career. You may have to change your style a bit & start attending church on a Sunday but hey this is Rock'n'Roll. Oh yeah were gonna hav to sack the guitarist cos my mate Hank wants to join, He can make his guitar talk you know. Hes a handsome chap aswell with a nice neat hairdo not like the commodity thats on the current guitarists head. My salary is quite reasonable aswell at £450 and a pack of fags a week i am litterally 'cheap as chips'. Ill look forward to hearing from you. If i dont i will be 'NUMB'! with pain. Get it im a fuckin comedian aswell i cud do a little set halfway through the gig.

Cheers, Sir Cliff Richard MBE

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