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Date Posted: 23:14:02 05/16/03 Fri
Author: trollficus
Author Host/IP: 12-254-215-45.client.attbi.com / 12.254.215.45
Subject: Australia vs. Canada

The score so far:

Climate:
Australia: Varied, but has plenty of warm.
Canada: Varied, but mostly cold.
Point: Oz

Flora:
Australia: Varied but too much Outback.
Canada: The Maple. And the Beer Tree. (Okay, I saw that one on The Great White North.)
Point: Canada

Fauna:
Australia: The most poisonous species of any part of the globe! No shit! Also some cool, fucked-up things like the Wombat and the Platypus. Not to mention the 'Roos.
Canada: The Moose. And giant fucking mosquitoes that suck blood like a pack of vampires. Still...not enough to balance out the Platypus.
Point: Australia .5

Economy:
Australia: Mostly sheep, structural pomegranite, and Abo-hide clothing.
Canada: Oil sand, oosik, harp seals, and hockey tack. All Canadians are guaranteed everything they want. As long as it's a toque and a beer.
Point: Canada

Genetics:
Australia: Comprised of the descendants, not only of convicts, but ones who were dumb enough to get caught, and too unsuccessful to be able to be able to bribe their way out of it.
Canada: Superior intellect and physical vitality. But 20% are French.
Point: none

Racial diversity:
Australia: Abos, Tasmanian Devils, Asians and those weirdos from SE Asia who aren't really Asian and aren't really Indian. What the fuck is up with those freaks, anyway?
Canada: Inuits, other Native Americans, some Asians, some blacks and too many Arabs. And French.
Point: Australia. Another point lost by Canada because of the French.

Sports:
Australia: Manly, violent, drunken Rugby and Australian Rules Football. Surfing.
Canada: Manly, violent, drunken Hockey. And Steve Nash is Canadian, so they got Basketball. Luc Longley is Australian. So they don't. Skiing.
Point: Canada (Close. liltommy says Rugby, Zem says Hockey. Discretion says stay the fuck out of this one. Australia loses because of those gay outfits the ARF officials wear. Have you seen those?? BWHAAHAHAHAHAH!!! Those fucking hats!!! HAAAHAAHAHAHA!!)

Women:
Australia: Manly, violent drunken...oh, wait. That was sports. No, that was Women.
Canada: Too bundled up to tell.
Point: USA!! #1!!!

Towns named Melbourne:
Australia: 1
Canada: 1 (Ontario)
Point: Australia .5 (it's bigger)

Well, a quick tally of the scores shows this one a carefully contrived DRAW!!! This will probably have to be decided on the final category:
Best Internet Flamers!!!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You guys have Aussie(s) and Canucks. What do you think?

Will the hiways of the Internet become more few? -G.W.Bush

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