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Wednesday, December 09, 8:16:59 [ VoyUser Login optional ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, [9], 10 ]

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Date Posted: 14:49:36 05/18/03 Sun
Author: Isabelle
Subject: Inside if you really want to know what I was up to...
In reply to: Isabelle 's message, "Oh I'm so sorry I haven't come here sooner ..." on 12:31:57 05/17/03 Sat

Well, it's been a very tough winter, I have a very hard time adjusting to the life here, but also to my husband's new job and schedule, the significant reduction in his salary, a place that is way too small for us and no way to buy anything decent on his present salary. I found myself spending new year's eve with my girls alone, as well as new year's day. Dh was working and it was snowing, I was miserable, none of his family living within a few miles from me called. I had a hard time mostly for that. It would be wrong to say they are bad people, but they have lived all their lives here, and don't understand what I'm going through, they are busy and didn't think or find time for me. I had been in the new place less than 3 weeks when DH started to travel a lot and basically leaving us here while I didn't know a soul. I spent week-end after week-end wishing to make some connection with someone, but the school here doesn't want volunteers and I lost my chance to meet people. It is a town house and the girls don't have the space needed to move around, not to mention the fact that being used to go to the pool in the middle of a california winter with 75 degrees was a thing of the past. So months passed inexorably and my depression grew deeper. I withdrew from the world and friends, cried a lot, barely slept and the sleept depravation wasn't helping. The little time that DH was home, I kind of made him feel miserable because I kept telling him how miserable I was... I even considered leaving him and moving back somewhere where I'm warm and where I have friends who care. I'm doing better but occasionnally I fall back and it's hard. The Highlight of my winter is when 3 of the LOL ladies came to visit me, they all live within my state or border to it, they brought me a big basket full of goodies and dragonfly theme things and a welcome to NJ sign. It was wonderful and made me feel even worse in the sense that I realized that my in laws who lived so close didn't even think of that... So that's why I mentioned above how touched I was when my sister in law took me out for lunch for my birthday. DH who's been very concerned of my state was feeling bad, he even said that he would quit his job as soon as his contract will let him, because he can't imagine loosing his family over this. I love him dearly and I couldn't ask anything like this of him, it is the fullfillment of his life dream. Besides, it's that bad because he is so new that of course the salary is terrible but also as a junior pilot in the company, he gets all the bad schedule that senior pilots reject such as flying on christmas or jan 1 or easter, etc... He will be gone a lot this summer so he bought me and the girls plane tickets for France and we will spend the summer there, about 7 weeks visiting my family on the French Riviera. I haven't had a chance to go HOME in 5 years, so I'm looking forward to it, and being spoiled and cared for by people who truly love me. Unfortunately even so DH works for an airline, we still have to pay full price for those darn plane tickets... his company doesn't have agreements with international lines, arghhh so it wasn't the greatest time to spend money but hey, probably better spent that going to a shrink. I know it will make me feel better and I hope next september I'll be in better shape to start a new winter... So if you wonder why I rarely came here, you've got the answer... it's been just hell, but Gosh, I was so surprised when I found your birthday messages so I was so touched to see that I wasn't forgotten, so Thank you with all my heart... Love to you all...

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Replies:

[> [> We could never forget you, Isabelle! These times will pass. Maybe JO will be transferred to a warmer home base in the future. >>>> -- Ron, 18:02:58 05/18/03 Sun

Alors, sois tranquille, mon amie. Et bonne vacances cet été!

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[> [> [> Merci Ron, Thank You Betsy, your replies are sweet and supportive. I know I'll get better, it's just that while it's happening it's tough and hard to take, but I'm on the right path... Hugs to you two -- Isabelle, 21:23:14 05/19/03 Mon


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[> [> (((((((Isabelle))))))) Oh, I wish I were closer to you so we could meet and share a cup of tea and talk!!! You made me remember how it was for me the first winter I was in Maine. I knew no one and had no friends. This was so hard, because I had ALWAYS been surrounded by people I loved. And it was so cold, I thought I'd die!!! Most mornings when I woke up it was at least -20 deg.F, and it was such a shock!!! I spend the entire winter reading books while I leaned up against the old fashioned kerocene space heater, turning back to front and front to back as my cloths began to scortch!! And crying. I cried all the time. Don't know why I stuck it out, but I did, and now wouldn't be anywhere else in the world. Except Scotland, maybe... You need a HUG, GIRL. -- Betsy, 10:16:43 05/19/03 Mon


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