Author:
Rodney Evan Bohen
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Date Posted: 13:10:04 03/06/03 Thu
Hello folks,
I am Rodney Bohen author of ' Letters To Carla"
I am pleased to introduce my new daily commentary found at..........
<a rel=nofollow target=_blank href="http://rodneybohen.blogspot.com">http://rodneybohen.blogspot.com</a>
a commentary dealing with the wondrous two legged beast we fondly refer to as mankind.
I invite you as well to vist me at www.rodneybohen.com where I showcase a lovely art gallery as well as a sunset page featuring charming New Mexico sunsets, and yes my book as well featured....'Letters To Carla"
Well here is my commentary today to give you a sampler of my diverse daily column, mirroring all our heart's as one.
The Art of Being Ourselves
As I ride tall in the saddle into today's sun, reminiscent of an old John Wayne movie, I am suddenly taken with this image and picture painted.
Yes, I sheepishly admit to often sort of slinking into the day, rather than riding tall in the saddle, yes, few could indeed accomplish this as did Mr Wayne, then again I am no John Wayne!
I date myself no doubt, yes I was raised against the backdrop of the fifties, where the Lone Ranger, Superman and of course Mighty Mouse set the TV stage of select programming, Yes, I amble, dawdle, wander and ramble in typical style, fashion and form, as I pave my way painfully into my point this day.
Yes indeed, how do we ride into the morrows day?
My Daddy always taught me to hold my chin up! Now unfortunately he never expounded on attempting to get my heart lined up in like posture with my now up in the air chin!
Surely the chin up and chest out stance and pose that Superman struck at the opening of his TV show was always quite appealing to me, to be sure, yes, chest out, chin up, and hands planted in supreme confidence upon his hips!
However, being able to strike an outward pose of supreme confidence, does not necessarily tell the tale of the heart harbored within, now does it I ask?
No, often it seems as folk, we project this false and silly pose of surety and confidence, while inside we often shiver and quake in insecurity, acute and apparent only to the searching eye.
I of course practiced this for years thinking it the thing men were supposed to do! Alas, masquerading as what I was not, veiled and hidden, while obscured and distant remained my true emotions and state of heart steeped and cemented in a myriad of insecurities untold.
One day however in the memorable and dark year of 1998, due to personal, jolting and dramatic circumstances, I became suddenly aware of how disingenuous I had been those may years, an actor I was indeed, painting myself in the garb of surety, confidence and stalwart character daily, attempting to become all things to all people in my polished yet clumsy attempt to be liked by all.
May I state this day folks, that at fifty-two years old, I know very little in my estimation this day, yet this much I do know as fact, All people shall never like us inspite of who we are, or how we act, or what we advocate.
So in fact, if there shall always remain those that don't care for my brand of personhood and character, I might as well relax and be myself! Yes, much easier I should think to pull off daily, especially if honesty of heart plays a part in the individuals pursuit!
Oh I know well the connected fear that accompanies such straight shooting, and it remains this...what if.....after I have shown them my true heart, what if they like me not? Yes, it hurts one and all alike to know that some just don't like us! Yet in some respects it stands us in good stead I should imagine, for truly no man can be applauded by all, unless he is of waffling and vacillating character.
It has been my experience that all who stand for something, are held in contempt by some. So be it then remains my response! For I am hopelessly given this day to this challenging notion of becoming myself more and more each day, and if all like me not, well I guess that just remains their loss.
I was not very popular in gradeschool for a period of years, before I began my process of reinventing myself daily, and this to be certain is a dramatic undertaking for every child who has been there. Yes, to not be popular! I used to think I was going to die daily. Then on top of that, the friends I made were only temporal and faded fast. So I in furious form would just change quicker for the morrows edition of life, geez what a tiring and weary lifelong expedition it turned out to be.
I learn daily now to attempt to become me more each day, for I feel it the most vital mark of character this day, and afterall, what did Popeye used to say anyway? Yes, I am what I am!
When very young at eight or nine years old or so, when I was about to scamper off to an outing or party, my Father now gone, would often notice the obvious and nervous disposition I was clothed in, due to my insecurities even then, and he would smile and say...Rodney, just be yourself! He would say it with authority, and in a commanding presence displayed! I always liked that, it seemed even then my Dad knew the deep secret of it indeed, yes, of being yourself!
So I remain me today, still undiscovered, unearthed, unlearned and unknown to myself and most all others, I rest daily in my bed and myriad of eccentricities and foibles, yet yes, it is me. So if I pre-tell shall venture to make a friend this day, it shall be drenched in attempted sincerity, for they all see me as I am yes, unmasked and parading in attempted honesty, shall they like me? I surely hope so.
Peace,
Rodney Evan Bohen, author of "Letters to Carla"
<a rel=nofollow target=_blank href="http://www.rodneybohen.com">http://www.rodneybohen.com</a>
<a rel=nofollow target=_blank href="http://rodneybohen.blogspot.com/">http://rodneybohen.blogspot.com/</a>
<a rel=nofollow target=_blank href="http://www.authorsden.com/visit/author.asp?id=10498">http://www.authorsden.com/visit/author.asp?id=10498</a>
posted by Rodney 11:58 AM
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