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Date Posted: 13:28:37 08/14/07 Tue
Author: BJ
Author Host/IP: dialup-4.91.133.4.Dial1.Philadelphia1.Level3.net / 4.91.133.4
Subject: How to photograph a puppy

1. Remove film from box and load camera
2 Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw in trash.
3. Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle.
4. Choose a suitable background for photo.
5. Mount camera on tripod and focus.
6. Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth.
7. Place puppy in prefocused spot and return to camera
8. Forget about sock and crawl after puppy on knees
9. Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with other hand
10 Get tissue and remove nose print from lens
11 Take the flash cube from puppy's mouth and throw in trash
12. Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy's nose
13 Put magazines back on coffee table.
14. Try to get puppy's attention by squeaking toy over your head
15. Rescue your glasses and check camera for damage.
16. Jump up in time to grab puppy by scruff of neck and say "No, outside! No, outside!"
17. Clean up mess
18. Fix a drink
19 Sit back in Lazy booy with drink and resolve to teach puppy "sit" and "stay" first thing in the morning.

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