Author:
Christopher Antony Meade (Sincere)
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Date Posted: 07:20:48 02/17/13 Sun
In the recent presidential election campaign, it was noticed by most commentators that the president of the United States was looking a bit tired. There were noticeable bags under his eyes and there was a distinct lack of sparkle in his formerly silvery tongued debating skills. The previously robotic Mitt Romney was able to run rings round him. People have been asking how this could come to be. What has happened, that the once dynamically pristine Barack Obama, is starting to look distinctly frayed at the edges? Is it worry over the state of the economy and the continued high level of unemployment that is etching the lines on the face of the president? Perhaps he is losing sleep over the problem of the Iranian nuclear program? Maybe the ghosts of dead Pakistani children, killed by his drones, are disturbing his slumber? I have to tell you that it is none of the above. The reason why Barack Obama is starting to look more like Jacob Marley's ghost, than the all-powerful president of the United States, is because of domestic disharmony in the presidential residence. Michelle and Barack are arguing and the reason for this has got nothing to do with who will do the washing up in the White House, or any of the usual issues that can cause problems in any marital relationship. The plain fact of the matter is that the increasingly, Tomcat behaviour of Barack is causing embarrassment to his wife and the people who surround them.
There is a background to this. I'm not going to go into it fully here. My book, The Zombie, the Cat and Barack Obama, explains completely the ancestry of Barack Obama and how his grandfather is a shape-shifting alien cat. It is the feline characteristics of the president that is causing the ructions in his marriage and may yet fatally compromise his ability to turn back the flow of the American voters to the Mormon moron.
If you're fortunate enough to be invited into the private quarters of the first family in the White House, the first thing you would notice is the scratches on all the furniture. The culprit here is the president. He just can't stop sharpening his claws on the upholstery. He actually totally shredded a three-piece suite after a meeting with Benjamin Netanyahu and he demolished the marital bed after one particularly stressful encounter, with the almost equally catty Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.
It's not just his tendency to ruin the furniture that is causing the rift with Michelle. There is also the issue of his stripy tail. The most noticeable feline appendage that Barack Obama possesses is a long stripy tail, which he keeps hidden in his trousers. Unfortunately for his relationship with his spouse, he did not reveal the secret of his furry ancestry to his intended until after they were married. The result was that his stripy tail was revealed in all its glory for the first time on their wedding night. It was a shock that Michelle has never fully recovered from. To be faced with the prospect of your husband tickling you with his tail every night, when all you want to do is go to sleep, can be wearing for even the most compliant of wives.
The greatest cause of friction between the presidential couple is Barack's habit of marking his territory throughout the house. When he is not leaving scratch marks all over the place, he is spraying everywhere. He just can't help it. That's what un- neutered tomcats do. The smell is simply awful. It's not the stench of corruption that besmirches the Obama administration. It’s the stench of cat spray.
Anyway, things have reached such a pitch that there is a serious possibility of the marriage breaking down. The strain of having to replace the furniture continuously, not to speak of tickling tails and the necessity of wearing clothes pegs on her nose, is putting a severe strain on the temper of the fragrant Michelle Obama. Barack is getting worried as well. Last week he saw her in the kitchen. She was singing Three blind mice and fingering a carving knife. How long can the stripy tail stay attached?
If you would like to know the complete story of how Barack Obama came to be one quarter cat, read about it in my new e-book The Zombie, the Cat and Barack Obama. Available now from Amazon and a variety of other online retailers. Many more of the embarrassing secrets of the “Great and Good” are revealed within its pages.
Sample it for FREE at AMAZON.
United States.
http://goo.gl/ckqfk
Amazon United Kingdom.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B009CYBTC8/ref=tag_dpp_yt_edpp_rt#tags
Don’t have nightmares. Have a good laugh instead.
Yours
Christopher Antony Meade.
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