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| Subject: Re: Going Strong | |
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Author: Lilly |
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Date Posted: Tue, Oct 21 2014, 8:02:25 In reply to: Catmom 's message, "Re: Going Strong" on Sun, Oct 05 2014, 10:15:38 Wow. Where to start! Oh my gosh. Millie, congrats on finally landing "the job". And I hope to hell your next check up comes back okay. Regardless of our differences, I'm sorry for all that you've gone through with your health. What a nightmare. But the job sounds great!! Catmom....UGHHHHH...my God, your post broke my heart. It just brings all that anger right back to me. I am so sorry that things are STILL so rough. It makes me sick that you, Millie, EVERYONE else that has suffered for so many years and just can't get in front of that damn 8 ball. I just don't know what the answer is. "We" will never support each other as nurses in the profession. When I tell people my story it is a rare occasion to get understanding. It's such a helpless feeling to know that so many nurses are suffering and there isn't a thing to do. All the years I fought and questioned things and it still seems like we are on square one when it comes to helping nurses. As for my "update". I am working as a nurse. Hate to complain about it, but it's purely financial. I have never fit back in to nursing since my "event". I can never be promoted, work in management, teach or do any of those things I see nurses that move up and on do. Forever a night shift staff nurse. And, I know, I shouldn't complain as you guys suffer. I guess I feel that I am still suffering. Always under a watchful eye, always paranoid about my actions, always worried that any day may be my last. So, why do I stay. 2 kids in college, that shouldn't have to suffer because of my stupidy, a husband with a less than desirable income and bills, bills, bills. I would love to find something out of nursing that I could support my family on. Catmom, I have often thought if I lost my job and my income, and had to go back to food stamps, medicaid and other government assistant, I too would probably kill myself. I honestly do not care to be a nurse anymore, I just have no choice. I can't get loans for college because my credit is so shot. So, it's about $500 a month out of pocket...because God knows, we are "middle class" and we all know how much help ya get there. Anyhow----I work in a hospital, night shift, with a bunch of brand new nurses that know it all, have seen it all and done it all. And they will likely be MY boss in a matter of months. I am on pins and needles as our hospital is going through some big changes in January, as in likely some downsizing and I have a feeling, with my giant scarlet letter, and my lack of a BSN, I am a big, fat target. So, I'm exploring some other options, but if you guys remember, I have a felony record of theft that the county never bothered to "erase" as was to be done, so it's so hard for me to find anything. Even the local factories will not hire anyone with a theft record. I am still grateful to those managers that gave me a chance. They definately were lifesavers. The scary thing is, they have all moved on. I am now with managers that want a pretty, shining, all BSN unit, and definately not any heinous nurses!!! My 30 years of experience is less important than a title. And with the scarlet letter, forget it!!! So anyhow---it's a very bittersweet experience. I can thank god one minute for an income and hate my job the next...... And on the bright side...only one more kid to get through college after these 2, and then I'm free. Free to never have to renew that f*&^ing license again..... I have a child in nursing school. I begged her to be a teacher, computer analyst, anything but a nurse. But, she feels it in her blood and says it's all she wants to do. I want her to succeed, but I HATE to see her in this profession. I see how poorly she is taught and how lax the instructors have become. They expect these kids to learn it all from the computer and are pretty much self taught. I watch them in clinicals without an instructor present 80% of the time because she has too many students on too many floors. I see kids with bachelors degrees in completely other non medical subjects getting their RN in 16 months with 4 months of clinical experience......our profession is hitting the skids and it's scary.... I do have to say, my daughter has thanked me a million times for actually TEACHING her. And for telling her all the things NOT to do. So, all in all, my opinion of nursing is still the same. It sucks. Other than that....life has been okay. At this point everyone is healthy and well. We had several serious illnesses and deaths in a pretty short period of time, but nothing in the last few years, knock on wood. Well kids, that's it...It's awesome to hear your guys stories. Sorry it's still such a struggle for some of us and THANK GOD it's picking up for some!!!! And Happy Fall to you too Jim!! [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |