VVS Laxatives: Rd 9 Spew not dead as Nawab calls for review -- RFL

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Date Posted: 10:41:42 07/06/07 Fri
Author: New Dehli Chronicle
Author Host/IP: 61.95.73.42
Subject: VVS Laxatives: Rd 9 Spew not dead as Nawab calls for review
In reply to: The Nawab 's message, "VVS Laxatives: Rd 1" on 21:05:17 05/04/07 Fri

Jamacian police today confirmed that former Laxative's coach Floodney Spew may not be dead after all. Police Chief Wiggim said "DNA tests show that the spew was not Spew's after all. We've identified it as his room mates." Football manager Vijay Tiger Balme was sharing a room with Spew at the Cricket World Cup when he vanished after a reported altercation with Club president the Nawab of Carnegie. Tiger Balme now admits he was "just making some room" after a curry and beer night otherwise he wouldn't have fitted in his night cap from the mini bar. Spew is suspected to be on a yacht floating around the Carribean.

Meanwhile the Laxatives have had their worst start to the season after successive finals campaigns last 2 years. Coach Rooter McTempo says he is not panicking and his happy with his teams low scoring "We're just being defensive at the wrong end. I'm quite happy with the way we keep the ball in our defensive area for up to 80% of the game and hence keep our score down, we're just not backing it up by slowing the opposition down. The fans love the brand of footy we play, anything that resembles cricket is fine by them."

Meanwhile club President The Nawab of Carnegie has announced the club will review the coaching position in the next few weeks and will insist all candidates go through psychotherapy. "Anyone who works with me and lives under the constant threat of assasination needs to get their head right" said the Nawab. Meanwhile club co-co-captain Barry Hall returns after a one week sabbatical in the Himalayas, where he went searching for his former violent self.

FWD

G.Ablett
Hall
Welsh

MID

J Bowden
Goodwin
Crawford

Ruck

McIntosh

Tackler

Josh Carr

Emerg

C.Bruce

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Replies:

Re: VVS Laxatives: Rd 10 Spew to coach Pakistan and McTempo slams critics -- The New Dehli Chronicle, 22:33:37 07/12/07 Thu