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Date Posted: 12:06:04 06/10/08 Tue
Author: bfny
Subject: Yankee Stadium security story

okay, so I take Sam (8) and Zeke (5) to the Yankees game on Sunday (in the sun in 96 degress heat - gross!). The subway ride to the stadium is an hour or more each way. So I want to take them books to keep them occupied and of course am bringin a camera and sunscreen (the wife's insistance).

I check the Yankee website because I know these people are anal about security - and it says very clearly that "kid's backpacks" ARE permitted. So I pack everything in there and off we go.

Of course, we get to the stadium and the first security screener says "You can bring that in." I say, "well your website says I can." So he sends me to security guard two. Security guard two gets a look and sends me to security guard three. Security guard three immediately points me to the line where people are surrendering their backpacks and bags and such and putting their items in clear plastic bags. I ask security guard three if that means I lose the backpack forever. She says yes. So I say well that's not what I want. So she sends me back to Thing Number 2.

Thing Number 2 gets perturbed when he sees me and asks what I'm doing in front of him. So I explain once again what the website says and mention that I'm just bringing books for the kids to read on the train. So he rifles through the backpack - pulls out Sam's "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" book, looks at Zeke and says, "He ain't reading this." I respond, "You are right. He's not. My 8-yr-old is reading that. I on the other hand, am reading that "Frog and Toad" book to the little one. After that crack and a minute or so more of polite persistance, the dude finally relents and tells me to "take the bag and go in." Which I do.

But here's the funny part. After 10 minutes of being shuttled around three security personnel, all so damned worried about the threat posed by my backpack full of kid's books, we walk through the turnstile and what do they hand us? I'll tell you. They hand us two adult sized Louisville fucking Slugger baseball bats! That's right. The wise ones at Yankee Stadium have decided that small backpacks are a greater risk to their patrons' safety than are 14,000 bat-wielding New Yawkers roaming the corridorss of the stadium virtually unchecked.

God Bless America.

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