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Date Posted: 22:54:13 04/05/03 Sat
Author: 22my
Subject: Yeah, I finally found everyone! Divorce update enclosed.

I have been so out of the loop since the PP mess up. I do not do well with change, and right now my plate is full up of change. This is much easier. Anyway, divorce update: Jim had a "talk" with me last night when he was over seeing the kids. He wanted me to understand that this woman is not going away. He told me that he is definately marrying her and that he thinks it will last, because their relationship is based on "you do what you want". Funny thing, if that's the truth then why is she pitching a fit and thinking their relationship is over because I won't let my kids go out with the two of them. Well, he is still married to ME! Although, he tried to convince me last night that because he didn't want to be married, he wasn't, and therefore I was not his wife anymore. I reminded him that we still aren't divorced and he said he doesn't want to be married to me, so since he isn't living in our home, he isn't married anymore. What a goof! Anyway, he wanted me to understand that the kids WOULD have a stepmother and stepbrothers and I needed to get used to it. He also wanted to make me understand what a sweet, loving, kind mothering figure this person is, and how safe my babies would be with her. What kind of a fool do I look like? This is the lady who set out to steal my husband and destroy my family, who can't seem to keep her own husbands (Jim will be #3), and who didn't even get custody of her own kids when she divorced their father. Oh yeah, I feel real comfortable sending my kids out with her. Let's just throw in the fact that this woman is committing adultery with my husband and I do not feel that I am being unreasonable to say no they can't go. And also, the only car they can all ride in is her convertible. I am sorry if someone drives a convertible on this board, I am not trying to offend, but I do believe if a safer vehicle for children is available, it should be used. I won't let my kids in her car. In my opinion, my caravan is much safer. Oh, on a good note, I saw her today and I believe she is well on her way to gaining back the 40 lbs. she lost. Jim made a very big deal to me of the fact that she lost it and I didn't. He also told me tonight that she has sex with him every night, and has always done that with all her husband. Well, he can have her because that is not gunna happen here. We averaged once or twice a week, and my attorney says once a week is average. So, I am average and that's fine with me. Ok, I have ranted and raved enough, I am having a very hard time the last few days. Crying almost all the time. Everything sets me off. I think that AF has something to do with it, but not everything. I am lonely. He wants to take my kids and make a new family with her. What about me? I sacrificed my entire life to raise him and his kids. And now, he wants me to just let him take them to the beach and other places with her like they are a family, while I am stuck at home wishing I had a family again and wondering what awful thing I did to deserve all this. I am hurting so badly right now. I actually have wished he would just die so the hurt wouldn't keep getting worse. Everything would be so much easier. Well, that's enough. I need to go get a shower. I took the kids to Disney today, and we are just getting in. Glad I found everyone. Tammy.

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