Turmoil: my lament -- ��I

[ Show ]

Support VoyForums

[ Shrink ]

VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 15:00:20 11/16/08 Sun
Author: EC
Subject: Turmoil: my lament

Here is the email that I sent to the fellowship in LA:

Hi brothers and sisters,

As a body in Christ, I wanna share with you all what's going on currently in my life. Yesterday, when I said I was too close to the brokenness, i was thinking of my friend. Indeed, I was surprised by my emotional reaction during worship. Due to personal privacy, I can't tell much about the problem. I can say, what's going on in her and how she responds/deal with the situation really makes all her friends feel sad, including me and my roommate.

I thought I was in a good position to interact with her, keeping a good distance and boundary (hehe here is my professional sense kick-in). Until the moment when I have to articulate what I think about brokenness, all my deep down emotions were triggered. This is not the brokenness in a broad sense, rite we all are broken. This is the brokenness that I interact every day and I can see how helpless it can be. It's really sad to see one going down the road, you almost know where they are heading, and at the same time, the best way for me to repsond is to do nth. It's tough. It's tough for me, my roommate and my friend.

Adding to all the above, this is going to be the 8th week in this qtr. Our life has been hectic. My roommate and I simply need to admit our limits and adjust the priority. Of course, my lovely laptop helps to complicate the drama a little bit.

When I stepped out last nite, I cried really hard in my car. That was a good cry as my body was telling me what was going on. I talked to my roomate (indeed, we both are getting tired of "talking"...). We are just exhausted, emotionally and physically.

This is my sharing. I hope that you can keep everything in yr prayer. My short-term goal is that I just need to focus and finish all the papers one by one within these 3-4 weeks. Life goes on and what we can do is to know how to live with all the experiences.

peace,
Esther

When I read the blog of friend talking about the feeling going to another friend's wedding (sorry, I didn't write the response on your blog, simply becoz I don't think yr msg needs response. I do wanna share what I think here after I read yr msg), I wanna say: all these honest genuine feelings give me a sense of reality in life.

All the feelings are still here. I feel sad when I think about my friends in heaven. I feel exhausted when I have to talk things with friends over and over again. I feel worried when I see my friends is going to hit the wall. I feel stressful when I need to write 7 papers in 4 weeks. Yet, I am not walking the same step over and over again. I am moving forward, moving forward with the community. I have the family who protects and nurtures me. I have people who love me. I have churches who support me. Most importantly, I am part of God's creation whom He loves and cares about.

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> pray for u -- ernus, 00:05:45 11/17/08 Mon

no matter what happens to u, we're all here supporting u.
and God is always with u too.

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]
[ Edit | View ]

[> Re: Turmoil: my lament -- fwong, 10:52:03 11/17/08 Mon

be here for you.
When you are burning out, you are just burning out. when you are overloaded, you ARE overloaded. sometimes, we just have no "solution" for that. Will pray for you and may you be contented in Him.
If you ever want to talk to someone, feel free to call me. You don't have to worry about the privacy issue that way, because i don't know any people there at CA. :-P

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]
[ Edit | View ]